Insecure

two

I didn't pack a lot of clothes, so the first suitcase was quickly empty. I neatly organize them on the shelves and hangers. Satisfied, I close the empty suitcase and place it in a corner of the closet. I take my glasses case out of the pocket, place the box on my desk, and put the glasses on my face.

I took my time on the second suitcase. Slowly, I unzipped and flung open the lid. Looking into it, I ran my fingers over the first item, a quilt. I had it specially made by my best and only friend, Max. It was just after my parents died when I told him. He was there when we were deciding on where to live. And when Daisy died, he let me stay with him and his family for the rest of the year. He was-is a really great friend, I miss him.

Anyway, Max was obsessed with sewing, which was kinda weird since he was a football player. He did an amazing job with this quilt though. He stitched together a bunch of Mom, Dad, and Daisy's old shirts. It was one of the only things they allowed me to keep. Kind of like a sweet memory. That's why I had the nightmare last night, I didn't have the quilt to sleep with.

I took it out of the suitcase and spread it over my bed. Moving on to the next item, a huge box of pictures. When the people at the agency told me to pack quickly, I grabbed every single photo I could find. Every. Single. One. I wanted to remember everything, remember them.

I opened the box and took out a photo of all of us together. It was before the accident, during our 16th birthday party. I still remember that day. Everyone was happy and we were all together. My entire family.

I felt a twinge of pain rush through my chest. It was quick, but it was there. Get a grip, they're gone. I looked at the picture one last time before putting it back in the box. I placed the box inside the bottom desk cabinet.

There were a few more small things in things there, like headbands, hair-ties, a comb and other junk. Along with it were some books. This took me back to a painful memory.

It was horrible. They told me I could only take 10 books. Only 10. I couldn't do that. How could I only choose 10? I loved them all. It was slow and painful, but I finally, finally narrowed it down. It was torture. They made me part with my babies. I shuddered remembering that day.

I took out each book and placed them on some empty shelves in my closet. Maybe I could find a library close to here. Yeah, I could do that today. Oh and a music shop, too.

That brings me to the last item in my suitcase. My dearly beloved flute. I love this thing with all my heart. It's my savior and my comfort. It was all I played the weeks after the accidents. It helped me recover from the deep depression I was in during junior year. I took the case out, along with a folder of some sheet music.

In fourth grade, our school gave us the option to join band. At first, I wanted to play percussion. I mean I got to hit and bang on so many things, it was pretty fun. But then, my teacher introduced me to the flute. It was love at first sight. The way the body perfectly fit around my fingers, and how my lips fit perfectly on the embouchure plate.

Throughout my school years, I stuck with it. Yeah, I'm a band geek, so what? It's awesome how such beautiful music can come out of something I'm playing. Also, Daisy and I used to do duets and put on shows for our parents. I would play and she would sing. They were pretty cool in my opinion.

Anyway, I put both the case and the folder next to my desk and placed the empty suitcase next to the other one. I took my backpack, full of miscellaneous things, and shoved in a corner of my closet.

Sighing, I flopped down on my bed. I checked the time on my phone, which I pulled out of my backpack. It was 2:00, which meant that it took me two hours to unpack. Well okay then. Caspian's friends were probably here now.