Insecure

two

After I finish showering, I wrap myself in a towel and stand in front of the mirror. It's all fogged up and I can barely see anything. Using my towel to wipe the mirror, it clears up a bit, still looking a little blurry.

Maybe it's because you're not wearing your glasses, idiot.

When I stare into the mirror, I see an ugly face. Her hair is dead straight, looking a darker shade of brown due to its wetness. Her light, tan skin is rough and she has dark bags under her big, bloodshot brown eyes. Her pointy nose is coated in blackheads and her plump lips are chapped.

Yikes.

I turn away from my disgusting reflection and walk into my room. Holding the towel up, I open one of the suitcases to find some clothes to wear and my toothbrush. I pull out a sports bra, underwear, a black tank top and a pair of Nike athletic shorts.

Normally, I would wear this to sleep or when I go to the gym (which I don't). But apparently, in Malibu, California, the weather is super hot that you could fry eggs on the sidewalk. I make a mental note to try that soon, to see if it actually works. What? I wanna know.

I go back into the bathroom and dry my body and hair. I hang the towel on a hook behind the door and put on my clothes. I brush my teeth and put the toothbrush on the sink, throwing my somewhat dry hair into a messy, lopsided high ponytail. Looking in the mirror again, I deem myself good enough and exit the bathroom.

I rush down the stairs to meet Caspian, sitting on the dining table.

"Morning," he greets.

I grab some pancakes from his plate, despite his protests, and drizzle syrup on top. Then, I add some whipped cream, swirling some in my mouth, too.

"So, what are we doing today?" I ask. "Maybe you can show me around or something."

"We, are not doing anything." He answers. "My friends are coming over to hang out and you will not be here."

"Okay, but why can I not 'hang out' with you guys?"

"Just don't bother us and we'll be fine."

"I'm gonna need to make friends somehow so I don't look and feel like a loser in my senior year. So why can't I hang with you guys?" I push.

"Because." he states.

"Because. That's not an answer! They'll love me, I promise!"

"Look, Tulip, I get that you need to make friends, but not with mine. I can't have my cousin join my friend group, it's embarrassing," he says.

"How rude. I'm cool, trust me. Everyone thinks I'm cool. Aunt Ashley does, Max does, even you! You think I'm cool, right?"

He didn't answer. "Right?" I ask again.

"No comment," he says, quietly.

"No comment! What do you mean 'no comment'?! I'm cool! I'm totally cool! I'm cooler than you! In fact, I'm the coolest of the cool!" I exclaim. He stays silent. Unbelievable, I'm amazingly cool!

"Okay, fine! I'll leave you alone. I'm too cool for you guys anyway!" I scoff. "Pshh, 'not cool', yeah right!"

I quickly finished up my pancakes, ignoring Caspian. He doesn't think I'm cool! I'll show him. I put my dishes in the sink and ran back upstairs, into the guest-my room.

The suitcases by the desk catch my eye and I decide that I should unpack, having nothing better to do. I absolutely hate unpacking. It takes so much time and effort, two things I don't have. Nevertheless, I open the first one and get started.