Dumbass Stuck in HxH|| Various x reader

Fine x Piece of x Ass

Chapter Twenty- Fine x Piece of x Ass

( Y/N's P. O. V )

"Do tell, what's the story behind your eye patch?" Hisoka asks, fork pointed at me.

I raise my hand up to the eye patch covering my left eye. "Why so curious?"

Hisoka grins, " If I had an eye patch wouldn't you be curious?"

"Nah." I shake my head. "Your defy-gravity-hair would be much too distracting like it is now."

"Uh-huh sure~ So about that eye patch. Did you lose your eye? Have a nasty scar? A different eye color? Or maybe it's just a ruse?"

"You caught me." I raise my arms up in a surrendering motion. "The eye patch is nothing but a ruse. My eye is perfectly fine underneath." I say sarcastically with a roll of my eye.

"Don't be that way." Hisoka pouts poking me with his fork, thankfully it wasn't used.

"Rude." I push the fork away. "So are we going to actually order something or what?" I pick up the menu.

"Changing the subject again."

"I'm sorry I can't seem to hear you over your outfit, stupid jester."

"And another nickname is given." With a mischevious grin, Hisoka gets up.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere~" Next thing I know something cold and wet is slipping its way down the back of my shirt.

"Hisoka!" With a screech, my chair falls backward. Grabbing my (f/d) filled cup I splash the laughing maniac in the face.

Instantly Hisoka goes quiet. His golden amber eyes narrow and his lips pull up in a smirk. Due to the (f/d), his hair was soaking wet making it not defy gravity and his makeup was slightly smeared. "You're going to pay for that one." Using his Bunge Gum he steals a plate with eggs on it. He throws the entire plate at me, eggs go flying all over the place.

I slide behind the table Hisoka and I was previously sitting at to avoid being hit by the plate and eggs. "Why is this a thing?"

"Loosen up a little~" Hisoka purs.

I pick up a plate of someone's pancakes. "Dude, your Hisoka, I can't loosen up around you too much!" Zoom a bunch of pancakes flies their way towards him. Splat, a nice wet sticky pancake hits him in the chest. "Damn I was aiming for the face." I slightly pout only to let out an embarrassing yelp as he appears behind me and smashes some sort of pie in my face.

"Hahaha- ack!" Done with throwing food I throw a chair. Hisoka easily dodges. "Tsk, tsk so violent." He teases.

"Boi imma throw you out the fucking window!" I was still trying to wipe off the pie left on my face.

"Ooooh, that sounds like a challenge."

"No, it's a promise!" Using flash step I appear behind him. I grab a hold of the back of his shirt and lift him up. Hisoka not just gonna let me throw him out the window grabs a hold of my wrist and twirls me. Now he has both my arms pinned to myself as he basically embraces me.

"Not that easy~"

I lean forward and use his weight against him. In a fast movement, I pull him over me, freeing myself, as he goes rolling to the floor. "So much for that not being so easy~" I tease back. "Oops." Looking around the room everything is a mess and people seem to be very upset that their breakfast was ruined. "Um, Hiso-"

"You damn hooligans! Get out of my-" I grumpy old man came raging in.

"Time to go~" Strong muscled arms wrap themselves around me again. Being held princess styled Hisoka runs out of the little restaurant and towards his room. Once in his room, he sets me down. "More like, so much for breakfast." Hisoka chuckles not so menacingly.

"You have a nice laugh."

"So you've said before." With a quirked brow, Hisoka turns his back to me and enters his bathroom. Quickly coming back with some sort of...

"Is that a makeup kit?" I try my hardest not to laugh. "Guess it's to be expected since your face is...clownish?"

Not saying anything he looks me over. With a creepy grin, he says, " You look like shit, I look like shit, how about we both hit the shower?"

"Pff is that your way of seducing a girl to take a hot sexy shower with you?" Shaking my head, "but yeah we should take a shower-" His face lights up, "separately."

"Boo~ No fun." He crosses his arms.

"Well imma head back to my room, hit the shower and come back?"

"Sounds like a fantastic idea, though could I get you to change your mind about taking separate show-" In a flash, I was gone. "I suppose not. What a shame."

🌸🌸🌸

"Hisoka?" I knock on the door.

"Come in~"

Having a feeling of dread I hesitantly open the door. Heat rushes to my face as I see Hisoka's fine piece of ass. "You did that on purpose!"

"Oh, you're still looking. Like what you see?"

"Ahh no, I'm not!" I slam the door shut. 

"You didn't deny liking the view!" I hear his mocking teasing voice.

"Go away!"

"Your the one outside me door~"

"There's no proof!"

The door opens causing me to fall back into a well-toned chest. My face heats up again. Looking up my eye makes contact with Hisoka's mischievous ones. "I see you."

"Your still not fully dressed!" Not that a man not wearing a shirt is a big deal, but when it's Hisoka...just those muscles! His body is highly appealing! Go away thoughts this is weird physical human contact! " What's gonna work? Teamwork!" I awkwardly shout out.

"What?"

"This is what I do when I panic!" I try to squirm out of his hold.

"Do I make you panic?" His hot enticing voice spoke against my ear. A shiver goes down my spine. 

"Pff, did I say panic? I meant... I meant." I was a stuttering mess, a fool. " Um need help with your makeup?"I say just wanting to change the subject since I had zero good comebacks.

"Hmm." He lets me go. " I'll let you off this time~" He points to his bed.

To which I stupidly sit on. Hisoka returns with that same makeup kit. He opens it and gives me the required brushes and colors. He sits Indian style in front of me on the bed as well. I move in closer to him and concentrate on doing his makeup, which is really hard since the entire time he is just staring me down, analyzing me. Once done I let out a cheer of victory. " All done! And damn I did well." I grab out the mirror from the makeup kit.

Hisoka let out a whistle. "Impressive but not as good as me." At this, I stick my tongue out at him childishly. "Time to do the hair." As he's about to get up I stop him.

"Your gonna gel your hair up?" He nods. " Noooo! Hisoka please leave it down for the day. You look far more badass (hot) when it's down like this."

He pokes my nose. "But then I wouldn't look like a magician."

"Boo, now your no fun." 

"You should've  joined me in the shower I could have shown you some fun~"

"Seeing you're a fine piece of ass was good enough." Realizing I had said this out loud I feel the heat return to my face. 

Hisoka swiftly turns back towards me. His eyes shine with something as he licks his lips seductively, why it's seductive I got no clue."Oh~" Once again he purs.

"No comment!" With that, I flash step the heck out of there. Such a flustered mess with that man!