your healing voice | rosé x jungkook

2

jungkook pov

< 'who are you living for? my heart stopped when i was nine or ten. put your hand on your heart and ask what your dream was, what it really was.' >

fog shrouds around me, the bathroom tiles glisten in a mural of reflective darkness. 

dew drips steadily around the rims of the mirror, humidity weighing down upon my body as i quietly listen for the scratch-scratch of the sponge.

"jungkook..." she whispers, softly touching my cheek.

"noona," i respond, mirroring her tone.

jisoo returns my calling with a tiny smile, "have you missed me?"

"of course noona," i say, busying myself with splashing around the lukewarm bath water.

jisoo is unsatisfied with my response. i know she is.

i've learnt to read her unblemished face, it's quite fascinating, really...

over time, you begin to read a person like a book, see between the lines, listen for the subtle meanings both words and lips alike hold. yet i still can't begin to understand why jisoo loves me the way she does.

i think it's something all to grand and glamorous for us. this downward spiral of fabricated emotions that slowly turned into a dissociated reality.

i know what i feel for jisoo is not what i feel for other girls, i've been infatuated with her almost my whole life, little did i think the likes of her would end up with me.

but fate brought us together, in a sadistic and cruel way.

the precious daughter of a rich ceo and me - the boy in a wheelchair.

i hated how that sounded, even inside my head. and i was terrified, scared shitless that she'd leave me.

i was almost thankful that her brother's car had crashed into me that day, because now, their family would always be indebted to me. she couldn't stray from my side, even if she wanted to.

i still remember the burnt rubber tires, the blinding headlights and finally, a crushing blow just below my ribs. i was sent flying through the air, gravel embedded in my palms, a sudden car door slam and seokjin screaming. 

the slippery red wetness staining my face, seokjin's hands shaking my shoulders, then there was the sirens, piercing my ears. 

jisoo wasn't there when it happened, but she came to the hospital. 

she cried.

throughout the night, weeping at my bedside. 

seokjin scarred for life, he would never be the same, a giant crack now split his soul, brightness no longer existed. 

soon he'd sink into the inky depths of endless depression,and it was my fault partially, we should've shared the burden. but, seokjin being seokjin took the full blame for the accident.

he may have paid the charges and my recovery fees yet never once did the weight lift from his shoulders.i was beginning to grow anxious with seokjin's debilitating state of mind, lack of response, and as if somewhat obsessively, he would always come to visit me.