Rogue

Chapter 22

DOUBLE UPDATE BITCHES!!!!!!

Levi's P.O.V

My fingers curl around the handle of my mug, searching for a bit more warmth than what was available to me.

Everything felt so cold and rigid whenever I wasn't with J.
I look back at my mate, my chest immediately lightening at the sight of him. He was in a deeper slumber, clutching the pillow I'd put to replace me a little too tightly. Lost in dreams, he was unconscious to the many troubles which seemed to eternally plague my mind.

Letting my eyes redirect themselves to the window, I watch thousands of leaves being tugged off their branches and pulled by the strong winds which belonged to the changing seasons. It was beautiful and disheartening to watch, signaling the death of the old season in preparation for the new.

It was like watching my life on raw display and I hated it.

J or rather Jayson, I didn't know if it was okay to call him that, it felt wrong to, as if I were cheating some part of him. The part of him I didn't know but longed to know, the part of him that was lost inside of him and replaced with the J I knew. I felt as if I were mated to two different people; J and Jayson, I didn't know which one was my real mate. Not forgetting Roger as well, without a wolf of my own, I was all he had in this world. I was all any of them had.

I shut my eyes tightly to stop my hand from shaking, it was making the tea spill and my distress would wake up J, I didn't want that. I didn't want him to wake up to find me, this depressed version of a mate he didn't deserve. He didn't understand why I was so stressed, so confused and sad these past few days and I knew he blamed himself which broke my heart because, in all of this, he was the innocent victim.

But no one else saw it that way, my family most certainly didn't. Damon saw him as an enemy, Dad, a ticking time bomb, Peter, his worst nightmare and Josey, unworthy. Hagen was the only one who liked him, the only one who supported us and seemed happy for me in finding my mate. He visited regularly and had no problem in entertaining J when I had to cover my ass with Aiden.

It scared me just to think of him and J in one sentence. I didn't know how much longer I could keep them apart, all it would take is the sight of him in wolf form or a whiff of his scent and he'd be done for. Which he is what scared me the most? J was strong, stronger than most wolves that existed but dad was a fighter, an alpha who'd been training since his mate's attack to kill the one responsible.

I didn't understand why I was being punished. Why I'd been mated to the one person everyone I had ever known hated or why my family couldn't bury their hate and fear in support of my happiness. The happiness I know questioned, I knew it would've been better for everyone if I never met J, Jayson.., my mate. Everything would have gone on as normal, everyone would be okay.... everyone but me, and though I knew it was selfish, I didn't care. I was happy I met my mate, even if no one else was.

I rise from my spot in the window seal and head out the room, resting my mug in the sink before dialing the number I knew by heart and raising it to my ear.

"It's eight in the morning." Sammy groans begrudgingly and I smile a little.

"Hey," I say leaning against the counter.

"Haven't heard from you in a while, is everything okay?" She asks genuinely. "It better not be for you to be calling me at eight am."

"It's not," I say chuckling at this, she'd always made me feel lighter despite the darkness in my mind. "Damon attacked J."

"Of course he did." She groans sounding as exhausted as I felt. "Well, who won?"

"J."

"Thank God." She says making my eyebrows sink. Before I can bring my question into words, she answers, "Can you imagine the ego on that kid if he won? He'd be a fucking pain in the ass."