Rogue

Chapter 45

This is it guys 😭😭

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Jayson's P.O.V

My fingers trace the bark aimlessly, my eyes closing to enjoy the feel of the sun on my skin through the trees.

It was quiet. Completely still with nothing but the faint thumping of the heart in my chest, the one that was still beating despite it all.

I guess even in this form, they recognized me. Every creature creating the largest distance between themselves and myself as they possibly could. They still saw me as death.

I stop at a familiar tree, a helpless smile forming on my lips at the crevices my fingers run over. I brush them gently, scared that if I touched the territorial marking too much I'd become the owner of them once more.

I pull away and follow the familiar path, my legs leading me where my mind recognized. Marked in the same form were trees all along the path, it was if I carved my own personal entrance.

I stop at the bottom of the small hill. Looking up, for a moment invisioning what I must've looked like climbed up this slump day in and day out as a wolf.

Lost. Tired. Scared.

All of the above most likely.
It was what I felt now as I began the climb, taking careful steps to avoid loose rocks or weak soil, taking the time to reach the top. I walk into the familiar cave, frowning slightly at the way it someone seemed smaller.

This was my home. For years, these stony, cold, rugged rocks were what marked my resting grounds. This was where I came after ever attack, battle and feed. Where I slept, sat in silence, waiting for Levi when I didn't even know I was waiting for him.

I take a seat, looking out at the expanse of trees and sigh. How far I'd come in a matter of months... a beast to a person again.

Sitting here was hard, sitting here hurt. Reliving it all hurt... but I had to. Before we left, I had to say goodbye to this chapter of my life. Had to close the door I still kept ajar with fear. Fear that one day, I'd end up back in this spot, sleeping here alone.

It was irrational, I knew that. But it was there. A fear that never left when I thought about falling back so deep into myself that I couldn't get out. Thought about being so weak that I couldn't save Levi, couldn't even save myself.

It was a fear I had to face, fear I had to let go. If I wanted to move on, I had to let it go.

I think sometimes you forget you're own strength - Roger says quietly, his voice like a gentle whisper. He continues before I can question him.

I think sometimes you forget that you're the same person as the twelve year old who saved Levi. The same kid who looked after him for months, on your own in the middle of nowhere - He says firmly, his voice leaving no room for arguement. We messed up, and I know it's scary to think about messing up again but you won't. You're stronger this time.

What if I'm not strong enough? - I ask voicing the thing I probably feared the most.

You will be, because Levi will be fighting with you this time - He says gently and I smile. You don't have to protect him Jayson, he can protect you too.

He was right. I would always protect Levi, always fight for him in any manner I could. But he could fight for himself now, he wasn't five anymore, he was an adult, an alpha. He was stronger than anyone I knew and together, they would protect one another.