*New* Fnaf Text Messages

2019 babey

Nati: So... everyone, it's 2019!

Mike: You're a bit late. It's been 2019.

Nati: *crosses her arms and rolls her eyes* Shut up, you eskimo. I didn't ask for your opinion.

Vincent: Eskimo......? You called him an eskimo??

Jeremy: Y-Yep she did. I h-have it right on t-tape here! *replays recording of Nati called Mike an eskimo*

Nati: S i g h. My first-- and probably only tbh-- chapter in 2019 and y'all are blamin' me for callin' Mike a goddamn eskimo. *evaporates through the ceiling*

Vincent/Jeremy: *casually chatting with each other*

Mike: *looking up at the ceiling in morbid confusion* Is... is nobody gonna comment about h o w Nati just fucking e v a p o r a t e d through the ceiling??

Scott: *sipping his eggnog while leaning against the doorframe* We often see a lotta weird shit in our lives. You just gotta learn to get used to it.

Mike: *staring at Scott, eyebrows furrowed* It seems like everyone's personality changed in the slightest... Hell, even me speaking sounds a bit more sophisticated than I used to sound...

Goldie: *teleports in the room with party poppers in his hands* *screeches* HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES!! *teleports away*

Vincent: Jeez, that sounded like my mom.

Jeremy: *in concern/confusion* Y-Your mom sounds like t-that?

Vincent: Yeah. Ever since she accidently ripped out most of her vocal cords, she hasn't been able to talk, so she just screeches instead like *casually screeches loudly*

Scott: *under his breath* I can't believe that he is my fiance.

Jeremy: *falls to the floor, covering his ears* M-Mike! I don't feel so good.... *starts fading away*

Mike: *stares at Jeremy in horror/confusion* What the actual fuck

Nati: *comes back through the ceiling* Ha, another one bites the dust!

Mike: W-Why is my boyfriend fading away??

Nati: *t-posing while the infinity gauntlet is on her left hand* Gee I don't know.

Scott: That's so sad. Vincent, play despacito.

Vincent: *pulls a huge speaker from his back pocket and starts blasting despacito*

Mike: *glances back down at Jeremy* Fuck! My boyfriend is now dust! *turns and flares at Nati* You did this to him, you bitch!

Nati: *t-posing still* I am only asserting my dominance.

Mike: *storms up to Nati, about to punch her*

Freddy: *skrr skrrrs around the corner with heelies* Hit or miss. I guess they never miss, huh?

Scott: *casually starts singing the USSR anthem*

Mike: *falls dramatically from the amount of dominance Nati is radiating*

Nati: *default dancing on his grave*

Chica: And this kids, is why you don't do drugs like I'm pretty sure the author did when writing this.