XIV-The Little Starlings

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    How remarkable I found it to be the colossal change in me

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How remarkable I found it to be the colossal change in me. That without warning, the bleak and morose sense about myself felt gone away. For the first time since perhaps my girlhood, I did not feel so rotten, and I owed it completely and wholly to the golden faces at that time.

If you ask me which days were my least aching, when I felt least my brooding heart, these would be the ones.

—1818-1838–

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—1818-1838–

    As you may have guessed, I was no longer bound by trivial human conventions. Whether a surface was to be soft or firm was no matter. If a room were to be bright or dim, warm or cold, it mattered so little. All that was needed was a room and a place to shut out the light.

Thus, within the walls of the coven, there was very little comfort to speak of, as Phedré was hent upon some century long journey in refusing anything of mortal parallel. Though, he had a taste for civilized luxuries, that was much true, for he had been so very dapper in his fashions on those nights he went to the Opera houses, his reflective orbs like violets as he followed the rich scent of Parisian blood.

    Until, quite curiously, there came to be this intolerance with him, some unknown agitation as he shouted to the others, "Bore me, how you all bore me upon true and cruel death!", so that at times he left and was gone for such a spell, I imagined he might never return.

    But revitalized and animated, he would breeze through the doors as though back from some mysterious fount that had restored his lively interests and made him well again.

And with this, soon there came to be from all parts of the known world, art and furniture and lamps, and with that, more light! This did bring me comfort, as these things helped me along in some simple fashion to believe the lie that I might somehow deny all that I had become.

I took kindly to the bed that now sat at the center of my chamber, draped in rich green velvet. I would spend my time there, finding sleep on those nights I denied my thirst altogether. There I felt unfettered, felt so nearly the girl again who knew nothing of vampires.

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