The King And His Princess

Part 10: Baggage

Louis' POV

I woke up on the couch with a cuppa next to me, on the side table.

"Hazza?" I question getting anxious.

This is exactly how it happend before. Bad times. Bad.

"Harry. Please. Come back. Where are you?" I ask as i shudder forward, curling into a ball.

I hear foot steps cludder down the hall with a worried face and a blanket in hand.

"Lou? What happend i was going to get you a blanket. Whats wrong, baby?" He asked in a hurry, rushing to my side, pulling me into his lap.
I couldnt speak, i felt pain everywhere and i needed to stand.
I quickly crawled out of Harry's arms and stood up. I went to the kitchen that started to throw things, getting upset when i couldnt find it. I realized he had taken me back to my own flat so i quickly opend up the cubbord and got out a razor. "Too much. Stop. No...i dont want it. Too much. Red! Red. RED." I sobbed as i slowly and shakenly put the razor to my wrist, harry came in quickly.trying to stop me as he cried, not knowing what was wrong.

I fevereshly sank the blade into ny flesh and hissed at the pain it brought me. I sighed and brought it out of my skin going to another section, harry then grabbed the razor and threw it away causing me to come to my senses.

"Harry, i shouldnt- no.. y-ur-your vir-ginity..you you t-told me ...lies -my fault.." i jubbled out confuzing him more.
He just shook his head saying sweet things to me as he cleaned the deep cut, wrapping it up.

He took me back to the couch and sat next to me, holding my hands. I felt so vulnerable.

Harry's POV

He looks so vulnerable.

"Lou? Baby are you okay?" I calmly spoke trying to sooth him.

"My da-dad...hates me." I spoke and i sighed. My dad left i know how it feels.
"Lou, why did you cut yourself about something so stupid?" I said not thinking and gasped at the words that came out.

"No- S'not how i me-"

"Stupid? D-Do you know how much pain i went thru? No you f-fucking dont. I lost my virginity a-at.. he to-took
It...13.Harry i-i was 13 when he first raped me." He shudderd hesitant to tell me.

I imediatly broke and picked him up settling him on my lap, his head on my chest. I was silently crying as i held him.

" I am so sorry Louis, calm brown baby, I'm here " he tried to speak but I shushed him rocking him back and forth.

"Shh. Babe, you dont have to tell me. Your own time. Shhh your own time." I quietly whispered in his ear.

"N...no i wanna tell you" he proested and i nodded slightly.

We sat there for around 20 minutes so he could calm down and talk without stuttering.

Louis' POV

" my parents got divorsed when i was 6. My father...um is in denial of his obvious sexual confusion and is homophobic. I came out when i was twelve to my mom. She was accepting, but she passed away a year later.
My 2 siblings and i, lottie and fizzy, went to live with my dad because we had nowhere else to stay.

I came out to him, a couple of weeks after. Apparently he had abused my mother, hence the reason for divorse and...he um spoke of." I silently slipped back into tears

"Raping fizzy...the youngest....he told me that before he called me a fag and told me i had to be punished for being gay. He raped me more then 4 times every 3 days or so. I was sleep deprived and on the virge of death from cutting and abuse. My sisters were 8 and 5. I had to do it. I couldn't let him hurt my sister. ....Harry. thats what i did to you...i took yours away. I-i.....i s'sorry" i concluded with a smiffle as i tured my back toward harry.

He was silently listening but once that last sentace was out in the open he lost it peppering my face and wrist with kisses softly speaking.
"Baby, you didnt force me to do anything for you, okay? I love you. That bastard doesn't. I wanted what happend Louis. I wouldnt ever take it back. I love you so much and what happend to you is not something you should ever, ever blame yourself for. You understand?" He asked and i nodded sniffling yet again.

"Baby? Lets take a rest. You need it. But may i ask what triggered your episode?" He quietly stated.

"I dunno, i guess the envorment. I didnt have a room. I slept on the couch, thats were everything happend. Sometimes my sisters were made watch, or if they didnt he would do it to them. But i always woke up with tea next to my face and me lieing cold on the couch with a weak whimper in my throat." I told him more and more. Pouring out everything that had happend.

"I got away with the situation when i took my sisters with me and rode a bus to my grandmas. I told her dad sent us and i got a job, i was 15. When i saved enough money i moved me and my sisters into a motel and worked all day and night. And at sixteen i left and moved into a cheap ass apertmen and left my sisters with granny. They still live with her but i take them once a month for a week." I told harry quietly, too tired to tell when i spoke to much.

He looked over at me with tears in his eyes and he picked up ny wrist, held it in the light that peaked through the window. He let go and put his palm against the back of my hand, we watched the dust move around our hands and the soft glow of light. He spread open our hands and curled his finger tips into my palm and i did the same resting mine on his fingers.
By the time our hands were placed back against my chest, wet tears rode down my cheeks leaving behind stains.

He, looked over at me and rested his forehead against mine.

"You, deserve much better than what was given. I love you, Louis Tomlinson. You are the king of my world." He said in a hushed tone, wipping away the tears on my face with his free hand.

"And you're my princess. I love you too."
And we fell asleep knowing the next day we would be emotionaly closer than we were today.

But its going to be okay

Because we all have baggage.

...........................

This was so fucking hard to write. I wad litteraly crying thru the whole thing. Im sorry. This shit is sad af.

Ps.
Ik it looks like an ending chap but it isnt.