Love Takes Time: A Miefer Love Story

1st Entry

Aug. 22, 2014

This is the first time I'm writing a journal. To be honest, I don't even know if I should start with "dear diary" like what you see in the movies, or something.

It's also a bit more high-tech since it's in my laptop and not in a notebook. (I hate writing, I think I write like a doctor - very inelligible. Even I don't understand what I write sometimes).

So if manakaw tong laptop ko, I am SUPER dead!

I should say why I started writing this, right? Do I sound crazy talking as if I'm addressing someone? Let's just say then that I'm addressing my future self. HIMYM style, although there are no kids, no husband, just future me.

I have a boyfriend. He's very popular. So am I, although hindi kasing level niya. He's my first. Although I am happy with him, I'm still not sure if he'll be my last. A girl can hope, right? Pero I don't really want to look beyond now.

He makes me happy, makes me smile even when I don't want to.

He's always so agreeable. He does anything to make me happy, says ok with everything, although hindi ako sure if it's really what he feels or if sinasabi lang niya para pagbigyan ako.

Dahil ba bago kami kaya ganun? What if umabot kaming 6 months, 1 year, will he still say the same thing?

Ang labo ba?

Just to refresh your memory future self: Ayaw mong sabihin publicly that you're officially together. During this time, it makes sense to you. Yung mga dahilan mo:

- Hindi kayo artista, dapat private lang

- Ngayon pa nga lang na people have an idea na meron something between the two of you, anggulo na ng mix ng supporters, bashers, etc. Ano pa pag official na?

- Semi-celebrity na siya with endorsements and stuff so mejo showbiz (ang gulo)

- Lastly, although hindi mo to sinabi sa kanya, when the time comes na maghiwalay nga kayo, takot ka sa backlash

Pakshet.. Bakit ako naiiyak? Frankly, hindi ko alam. Walang actual na luha ha, teary-eyed lang b

Nga pala, exam mo next week. Circus level: Juggler. Studies, training, volleyball, Kiefer, kada, family. Hanggang ngiti lang ako, pero nakakapagod talaga.

Kimmy and Ara did well sa beach volleyball. 5-1.

Speaking of, segue. Naiinggit ako sa kanila. Lalo na kay Ara kasi wala siyang pakialam literal kung anong sabihin sa kanila ni Bang. Nag-I love you sila sa Instagram. Pinakita ko kay Kiefer kahapon, sabi niya kailan ko daw gagawin?

Alam kong biro, pero parang may laman. Kailan nga kaya ako magkakalakas ng loob?

Tama na ang drama ko for tonight. Quota na ko. Saturday bukas, aqua training in the morning, labas with Kiefer, and Thirds, and Dani afterwards.

Bye na lang bigla (since I don't know what to end this with).

P.S. I've said I love you to Kiefer countless times, pero I don't know why I feel this strongly towards him or bakit parang hindi nababawasan (ganun ba talaga), or kung mas matimbang ba yung love niya for me. This is my first crack at love, sana lang hindi ako masaktan.