The Emo and the Quarterback (Book one in the Love is Love Series)

VI

"I'm sorry, Halo, but I can't do this anymore."

I woke up to a banging sound on my truck door. I looked over to see that Troy was knocking. I quickly unlocked the car, and Troy hopped in.

"Hey," Troy said. It was just one word, but his voice sounded like one I knew long ago, and it struck a nerve, causing me to flinch. "Woah, you ok?" He asked, and my mind cleared.

"I'm fine," I said. "It's nothing."

"You sure?" He asked.

I nodded. "Let's go. And by the way, thanks again for the guitar."

"Of course," Troy said. "You seemed happier playing the guitar and I like that. Makes you look like a cute little puppy dog."

"What?" I asked, startled by him calling me cute. I felt my face grow warm.

"I said you look like an excited puppy," Troy said. He cleared his throat awkwardly. We got to my place, and then I began to help Troy with history.

We studied until around five, then Troy closed the book.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Halo," he said. "There's something on my mind that I need to get off my mind."

"What is it?" I asked.

"What happened to your friend?" I groaned. "Please tell me," he said.

"Fine," I said. "He killed himself. Because of me." Troy looked at me in confusion and sorrow. "His name was Charlie. He was more than my friend, he was my boyfriend. But we had to stay secret because his parents were extremely against gay relationships. But the pressure of it all got to us both and he- he jumped off a nearby bridge... I found out about his plan and rushed to stop him, but I was just barely too late... the last thing he said to me was, 'I'm sorry, Halo, I can't do this anymore,' then he jumped, a- and I- he wouldn't have died if I hadn't asked h-him out," by the time I was finished I was sobbing, unable to look at Troy. I expected him to get angry, call me a murderer or something and leave.

Then I felt a pair of warm, strong arms wrapped around me, with Troy whispering, "it's ok, Halo, it wasn't your fault, ok? If anyone's at fault it's Charlie's parents for making you guys feel like you had to hide who you were. Please don't blame yourself for it, Halo."

"I'm the reason he's dead," I wailed miserably, "so why are you being nice to me? Why have you been nice to me at all? I'm a killer, Troy, that's all I am! A worthless killer who should just die!"

Suddenly, Troy slapped me. "Stop that. Stop putting yourself down. You're not a killer, and you're not worthless. You're my friend, my closest friend, if I'm honest, Halo. The people I hang out with? I hang out with them in part because of what the people at the bottom act like to spoiled brats like me. Garbage that's only good for money. You're the only person on the outside that has shown me decency! And I care about you, ok? So don't you dare put yourself down because of the past!"

"But-"

"But nothing! I just met you, and you're the best friend I have! So saying that you should die is selfish," Troy said. "Do you really think Charlie would want you to kill yourself because you're sad? Or would he want you to live, to be strong and keep him alive in your heart?"

"I don't want to live without him," I sobbed into Troy's shoulder. "I've tried to live without him for the past four years, and I can't do it anymore, Troy. His parents wouldn't even let me go to his funeral, because I was the reason he jumped! In the end, they didn't care that Charlie was gay, because it was a different gay who practically killed him! They believed that I'd turned him gay just to get him to kill himself in the end!"

"Halo Dawson don't you dare! Don't you dare blame yourself for Charlie's death!" Troy shouted. He shook me gently. "I mean it! Stop it!"

"Why does this even matter to you?" I asked miserably.

"Because, Halo, I've only known you for a short while, but I care about you in a way I don't know how to explain in words," he said. He lifted my head so that I was looking him in the eye miserably. "So I Hope that I can explain it with my actions."

And then he kissed me.

A/N: The next chapter will include a certain anagram of the following word: MUST 😏😏😏

A/N: Charlie is a real person. He was my best friend until eighth grade. The story Halo told is very similar to the real one. I never dated Charlie, he was only a friend, but the character of Charlie is my way of honoring the real Charlie's memory.