The Best Years: Year One, Part Two

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I had found this new found way of being sassy without cruel. I wish it would smear my innocence off but I still felt like a china doll, everyone around me aware and careful. My outside deceived my insides experiences.

The new attitude sprung out of my torment of Oliver not having one beautiful ex-girlfriend who still felt territorial but two. I couldn't just falter every time he gave me attention after weeks of silence or wait patiently for my turn once Jade and Elizabeth were done with him.

No one knew Jade was here still. He kept it secret and forced me to keep his secret too. I didn't know how anyone would react expect Caden. His intimidation would of been like a wild fire - in the distant and than suddenly you're caught on fire yourself.

There was nothing worse than when someone seems unburdened by their secret because they've just handed it off to you. Oliver could keep a closet of secrets and it wouldn't affect his composer. When I keep a secret it tortures me for a year like Hunter.

I sat at my desk frustrated with myself for putting this paper off on Jane Eyre. Every time I sat down to write it I ended up hitting a wall. The more I thought about Edward Rochester's cold, distant demeanor I thought of Oliver. Even the women of his past stampeding his future.

He was so proud to hand me Oliver Twist to explain his childhood to me without having to but to explain his adult life it was Jane Eyre.

My phone scared me with a hard buzz against the wood desk. A text message.

"Do you wanna Lyft together? It's an actually snow globe outside. I miss home."

I had already brought up staying on campus to B more than once. She felt strongly about returning home to the warmth. I gave up convincing her and made my piece with the plane ticket stuck to my cork board above my desk. It taunted me like I had no choice and I didn't.

I got distracted thinking about Jane Eyre applied to my life, all the similarities. My finger didn't even tease the keys on my laptop. It wasn't until another text shook my phone that I closed my computer and aimed for success somewhere else - like getting dressed.

It was last open mic coffee house special and everyone would disburse for holiday break. Three long weeks in my old life. It was a bad joke, giving someone a taste of their new life just to send them back to the hell they came from.

I debated staying on campus anyways but the disappointment in my moms face made me feel too guilty. Like I would be abandoning her, not like I do now by ignoring her texts but in a way that's permanent. I would be relinquishing her from motherhood.

The coffee house was packed again. Hayley really turned the open mic night into a staple for everyone on campus. I waited in line longer for coffee and moved around small groups of people. It was hard to recognize faces with the coffee shop so crowded. I pushed my way to the couch, applauding myself for not spilling any of my coffee.

B was sitting on Caden's lap, laughing with her arm around his neck.

Hayley was on her laptop no doubt still promoting the event we were out.

Aspen was texting on his phone.

Elizabeth hugged me tight against her as soon as I placed my coffee down on the table. We had become close, threatening how close I felt with B. We shared everything, had classes together, discussed Oliver in length to resolve our tiff and always met up here for coffee between classes on days we didn't have classes together. I even helped her with Power Points and setting up meetings.

We weren't just friends at this point - we were supporting the growth in each other. She had invited me to networking events and I was on the track to join Honor Society. She made me think beyond college, about my future.