runaway.

chapter 1 - it started with a voice.

stella jade madden.

my whole life, there has been a mysterious yet unmistakable voice calling me to follow along. that's not to sound disturbed or schizophrenic. it's not the voice of a physical human, rather i think of it as a summoning from mother nature herself. sometimes, this voice echoes in the tail end of a rustle of wind, only to be heard in the quietest of nights. other times, it masks itself in the crashing ocean waves that seem to lure me in to the water. the simplest of days, the voice hides behind a single cloud in a clear blue sky that i could get lost in forever. it whispers "come follow me."

when you've lived in one place for most of your life, it gets boring after awhile. no matter how many new stores and restaurants they build or fun tourist attractions added, the town simply just grows old. for me this town is portland, oregon. i've lived here since i was four years old. where i resided before portland is irrelevant because i'm not old enough to remember it. at this point in my life, as a sophomore in high school, there's not an inch of this town that hasn't been seen by my eyes.

trust me. it's what i've spent the last sixteen years of my life doing - exploring. i've made it a priority to visit every place portland has to offer, even in the roads less traveled by. when i was younger, i used to get angry that i couldn't grow up to travel the world as a job. the world seemed so big and i was so small. it's too bad everything has already been found by the time i was born. sometimes i think i should've existed in the columbus era. maybe i would have discovered the americas first instead. maybe i'm crazy or maybe i know there's a big, huge world out there and exhibit a strong willingness to see all of it.

so i'm stella, stella jade madden if you must know all the details. quick recap on what have i told you so far: i live in oregon, i wanted to travel the world, and i hear a voice that constantly tells me to abandon my home, but i'm not mental. i'm an only child, which in other words means i'm lonely all the time. my parents are not around too much, both of them are abusive junkies. i will never be anything like them. they've ruined most of my childhood. perhaps that's why i've been hooked on running away for so long.

one secret fact about me is that i'm a huge book nerd. with an imaginative mind like mine, stories take me away to a fantasy that i can picture so perfectly just from words. it's like a quick escape from the world. depending on the book, i could go anywhere, see anything. it's quite a great way to explore the world from your bedroom window. now that you know a secret fact about me, we're no longer strangers right.

although my life may not be perfect in many aspects, i manage to see the beauty in all things. all it takes is a walk outside of your home and a venture out into the unknown.

-

thin smoke escapes from the pits of potholes that i carefully leap around trying to make my way down the alley. it's a shortcut into the city, otherwise i wouldn't take it. the narrow street smells worse than it appears, which is seemingly impossible. i know the horrible stench comes from the first story high dumpsters where god knows what is trashed from local restaurants. in order to tolerate it, i must tuck my nose under the fabric of my hoodie as a makeshift mask. every time that my eyes start to water i'm not sure if it's a result from the smoke sinking into my pupils or the putrid smell that won't escape my nostrils. occasionally, a cough slips out.

my watch reads 9:37am, about an hour and half since i bolted from school. i only had 8 minutes to get there. most mornings, if i'm lucky, my mom musters enough energy to drive me to school. i wait for her to pull away in the direction of home before i head the opposite way. the days that she doesn't drive me makes skipping that much easier. i don't even walk to school, just straight to wherever i'm headed for that day. i like it best that way. i don't have to worry about her receiving calls from the school. she never picks up the phone anyways.