pseudon't

note

this is a tribute for everyone who has been or is in the same situation as Hallie and or Tom.

i'm not good at explaining but i want to say that people will always be out there. some will hurt you. but there are those willing show you the exact opposite. it's okay to accept help from them. you're not weak. as tom said, "we all think we're just helpless people who's struggling with something alone. i think that we should just help each other to know that we're not alone with those struggles." 

there are a lot of reasons to not harm yourself, or just generally giving up. moreover, you can read my "just a reminder" book.

i've written about death yet again. i want to clear it up that: i am not fantasizing suicide. i just have these storyplots which include these dark concepts and sometimes, writing about them in an emotional, dramatic way is how i cope. i also share them because this is a reminder for the both of us that we're not the only one fighting against these toxic thoughts. i know we can figure these out. we will figure this out.

in a lighter note, this is how i formed this idea: i was really down one night, and naturally, i listened to music but put my phone under the pillow as i was laying down. and i thought what if there was a person opposte me, like someone is singing to me but in a different room? what if i was stuck inside this room while the other person outside is comforting me? and thus, the story plot had been birthed.

i am so proud of this work. it's very different than usual novels i read and write, but i wrote it with all i can. like ubiquity, writing this story made me realize and learn a lot of things as a writer. i experimented with a lot of things, did stupid and sudden decisions and made scenes that even surprised me. sometimes i don't fully think what the chapter might be and took me so freaking long to complete. overall, this was a good rollercoaster. i thought this would be much shorter than it is now, but here we are.

also, i planned to publish this story in september, but i was caught up in writing ubiquity and my impatience just couldn't wait another half a year just to publish this. hence, i put this out mid-february.

i hope you liked the songs i put here. the reason why all the songs are sung by male artists, is so you can have the actual feel of tom singing to you. don't worry, tom listens to the fair amount of female artists too. probably more than male ones. (oh and, yes, i named him tom just so i can fit it in with the "tommy's party" chapter. lol.) anyway, i have much respect to the artists i mentioned in this story and it would be nice if you check them, out if you like.

oh and, one last thing... the story of tom and hallie's beginning may be over, but there's still something else to come. hehe :) that's all! thank you for sticking around at the end of this note! 

thank you for reading.

 thank you for being here.

tune with you soon.

jheinnie<3