Alfred chuckled, "Of course..."
Batman was actually going to knock Joker out, mainly so he wouldn't see where the Batcave was located. (and maybe to shut him up) Batman was just about to punch him and hope that it knocked him out, but then, the Joker decided to say something very special. "Awww, are you trying to knock me out Brucie~?" Batman was temporarily shocked. How did he know? He's hidden his identity so well, and yet the Joker knew? It couldn't be... he must've misheard him. "W-what did you just say?" Joker smiled, playing dumb was definitely something that would screw with his bat. "I said, 'Are you trying to knock me out?'" Batman sighed, he was really hoping this wouldn't just lead to a never ending loop of the Joker not understanding what Batman needed to hear. "Not that, he other thing." Joker's smile went to false confusion, "Aww?" Batman huffed, he might just throw himself out of the Batmobile if this pressed on. "No, the last word you said." The Joker smirked, he already achieved his plan of pissing his bat off, "I know Batsy~ I was just pulling your leg! To answer your question darling, I said Brucie." Batman was now confused. "Like... Bruce Wayne?" Joker giggled, was he really going to play dumb now? "Don't act like you're unfamiliar with the name." Batman knew he couldn't keep it up, "Alright, so what if I am Bruce Wayne?" Joker grinned, with the information that Batman was Bruce Wayne, a lot success would come from it. "Then I get fifty dollars from the Riddler." He wasn't lying. Batman shot Joker a glare. He hoped that he hadn't made the same bet with various other criminals. "You two bet over my identity?" Joker shrugged, it didn't really matter. The Joker never really cared about Batman's identity, it wouldn't really change their game if he found out. The bet was also unimportant, he just agreed to it because he was bored and didn't have any ideas for crimes at the time. He happened to know that the Riddler didn't really care for his identity either, since he knew that if he tried anything on his bat, he would pay greatly for it. "Well, it doesn't really matter what your identity is to either one of us." Alfred's voice once again waltzed into the conversation, with some elegance and confusion, "Why wouldn't it matter? I mean, you lot are criminals." Joker didn't have to think long for his answer. "It doesn't matter to me because it doesn't change my game with Bats, and it doesn't matter to Riddler because if he even thought about selling the information to other lower class villains, he'd be severely punished for it." Batman knew that tone, it was the tone the Joker had in his voice when he threatened anyone with death. "I'm assuming you mean..?" Joker smiled, of course his bat what he was about to say. "Death? Obviously." Alfred's sigh was heard, "So, now the Joker, your greatest enemy knows who you are?" Batman signed and laid back on his seat, "Unfortunately, yes." The Joker grinned, it would be fun to mess with Bruce Wayne, but it might lead people to be suspicious about him being Batman, which would mess with their game. Joker didn't want anyone to interfere with the dance that he and his bat shared. He knew that if the fact that Bruce Wayne and Batman were one and the same, Batman would have to spend more time taking down lowly criminals and spend less time with him. "Why would I leak such information Batsy? I only truly care about our little game Bats." Batman gave Joker a look of suspicion but didn't press further. "So, weren't you going to take me to the infamous Batcave~?" Batman nodded, almost forgot all about that. "Right, I forgot." Alfred signed off to prepare the cell for the Joker.
The ride wasn't entirely awkward. They didn't say anything to the other, which was pretty much killing the Joker, since he was getting insanely bored. So, the Joker decided to do something about it. He started to hum the Batman theme. It was soft and actually made Batman feel less tense. Batman began to tap along to the theme, and they did this for the rest of the ride. Which is slightly less awkward even with them being greatest enemies.
~The Batcave~
Batman got out and actually opened Joker's door, which he also got out of, and while he was just about to just fanboy over the fact he was in the Batcave, Batman picked the Joker up and slung him over his shoulder. The Joker frowned, "What are you doing?" Batman answered with, "Making sure you don't touch my stuff." Joker whined, "What? No fair! I promise I won't!" Batman smirked, "You said you were my biggest fan, so, I doubt you'd keep that promise." Batman walked over to where Joker's cell was, with Alfred standing next to the cell. "Master Bruce, the cell has been prepared for the Joker." The Joker gasped, "That bed looks like it's from a fucking hotel when compared to the Asylum beds, their like fucking carpets compared to THAT!" Alfred chuckled, "Is that so?" The Joker nodded. Batman put the Joker down and the Joker turned around. The Joker fucking screamed, it was like a dream to him, he couldn't believe it, he was in the Batcave! "HOLY SHIT, IT IM IN BATCAVE!!!" Batman picked the Joker up, whilst he was still fanboying, and placed him in the cell on his bed. "You should sleep.." The Joker crossed his arms, "Aaaannnnnddddd, why is that?" Batman didn't think he'd have to explain that people needed sleep to the Joker, so Alfred did it for him, "Sleep can reduce stress, it lowers your risk of getting health problems like heart disease, and your athletic performance is amplified, and the fact that you and Master Bruce can run around during the middle of the night is outstanding, considering that neither one of you gets much sleep." The Joker scoffed, "Sleep sounds lame." Batman nodded, "Trust me, it is." Alfred glared at Batman and crossed his arms, "Master Bruce!" Batman sighed, "Look, if you promise to go to sleep I'll take off your handcuffs." Alfred frowned, that didn't sound like a good plan at all. "Are you sure that's a good idea Master Bruce?" Batman have Alfred a questioning look, "What would the Joker even do? He can't escape, the lock only registers with the technology in the Bat-suit." Alfred sighed, "And now the Joker knows that." Batman's eyes widened, "fuck." The Joker giggled, it's not like he'd use that information against the bat. However, knowing that now meant that he was responsible if that little important fact happened to get leaked. Still, he played along, the cuffs were annoying after all. "I'll do it for you Batsy~! Just promise you'll take these handcuffs off." He extended his arms for the cuffs to be unlocked. Alfred just sighed as he pulled out the keys and unlocked them. Alfred handed the cuffs to Batman, he would need them if the Joker somehow managed to escape. The Joker stretched and let out a yawn, "Well, goodnight Batsy~ you too, uh, what was it again?" Alfred sighed. "It's Alfred." He began to walk away, but not before saying, "Good night." Joker could only assume that it was to make sure that the Bird boy went to bed on time. Batman dimmed the lights and walked away. The Joker whistled, "Fancy, and that's a little rude Batsy..." The Joker laid down, just about to try the whole sleeping thing, and then boy wonder walked in. There goes his chances of getting sleep. The Joker bet that when Bird boy got older he'd be running on like 0 hours of sleep, just like his bat-dad. "Hey Mister Joker Sir! I didn't know you moved into the Batcave?" The Joker sighed, this kid was pretty optimistic, which he could appreciate. Still, he wasn't actually living in the Batcave as a normal person. He was a prisoner, sadly. "I didn't." Robin frowned, he was obviously confused. "Then why are you here?" The Joker looked at the kid, "Haven't you heard the news? Arkham's been burned down." This kid was almost as oblivious as Bruce Wayne pretended to be. Robin let out a loud gasp, "What?" He then hushed to a whisper, "Did you do it?" The Joker looked at him like he was crazy, "What? No!" Robin let out a sigh of relief, for some reason it seemed like the boy wonder believed that the Joker could be good. Which, at least to the Joker, was quite strange. "Good, but if it wasn't you, who did it?" The Joker smirked, his reaction would be quite interesting. Nonchalantly, he said, "Mr. Freeze." All Robin could let out was, "Gasp!" The Joker smiled, this kid was cool. "Wanna know how he did it?" Robin nodded his head quickly. "Of course!" The Joker sighed, "Ya ser kid, he didn't mean to do it... He was just trying to serve dinner." Robin looked confused, "But... isn't he Mr. Freeze?" The Joker clicked his tongue, "Yup, but he probably forgot that you need to turn off an oven when you're done with it, poor guy." Robin nodded, it seemed as if he was sympathetic for Mr, Freeze. "Oh, that's terrible..." He yawned, the kid must be tired. The Joker sighed, "You should go to sleep, I'm not sure your dad is actually even sleeping, since he never actually said goodnight..." Robin frowned, "Yeah, padre does that sometimes, he's probably just trying to get used to you being here." The Joker smiled, "Good to know." Robin smiled softly, "Well, goodnight Mister Joker..." He left to bed before he could answer. The Joker sighed and tucked himself in. Then everything went dark.
