"can it get worse???" answer- yes

scared.....

So, I don't know how to explain this and it bothers me. Every other night I'll wake up at 3am and sometimes 3:33 exactly when it turns those times. And I'll wake up not needing to use the restroom or anything. I also get this creepy feeling something else is in the room with me. This happened thins morning, it's now 4:00am and my chest hurts and my legs are numb. But lets talk about something to get that off my mind. so my bae, kiki, thought that I didn't actually love her and I was just using her to get over l. And I thought she didn't actually love me and that she was with me just to be in a relationship. But we were both equally as wrong. Both of us ended up talking about it at my house upstairs in my parents bedroom since my brother was being a bush and not letting us have the room to ourselves. Also I heard from kiki that her mom is on to us, and that she thinks kiki has a crush on me. After kiki couldn't come over till we had finished our math and she was upset and her mom had asked if it was because she couldn't see me in that voice most adults have when the kids talk about there crush. Where it's all like lenny faced sounding Idk anymore. Idk if I'm just tired or if that actually makes sense. But our mom have pretty much have switched places, cuz usually if I want to see a friend all of the sudden and I wasnt a close friend to them then she would usually ask questions. Also she's always telling me that I need to have kids in the future and that she wants me to this and that and it gets on my nerves because as if now I don't want kids and I don't like that she is pushing it onto me. I talked to my dad about it and he is quite sick of it himself because he wants me to choose who I date and who I marry and what job I get and how I want to live my life and my mom just wants me to be her little doll like what's her problem!!??? She expects me to love her when I'm mad at her??? And my dad doesn't really want to talk to my mom about it because he doesn't want her to know that he is giving me the chance to be gay. And I'm sure that my mom won't be happy with me and him for a lonnnngggg time. 😓😓😓😓Well I'm going to try to go to sleep and get at least 1hr and 30mins worth of sleep before I have to wake up for test tomorrow. I love you all and wish you all a good day and make sure to tell me how your day was in the comments. Boiiiiiii

-JustAPieceOfGarbage