In Real Life

The Third Leg

“I don’t, ” I mumbled and she chuckled that are-you-serious chuckle.

“Mm. So these just showed up in here?!” she took a stroll around the room, secretly smiling at the pink stuff in awe. And she says that I'm the one that have an obsession with pink.

“Yes, kind of”  she gave me -da fuq- look  “they are gifts” I rolled my eyes at her stupidity.

“Who would buy you gifts anyway?” she frowned, then she giggled “Oh, I know, ” she winked “Someone wants to impress certain someone, ” she hinted, but I just gave her a blank look.

Yeah, someone wants to impress my vagina.

I debated on telling her about the story behind the gifts but decided against it, she will never let me see the end of it.

“Do you like them?” her eyes lit up at my question and an idea popped up in my head. I stood up and gathered all the evil-pink stuff and threw it at her “here, take them, ” she looked at me confused and was about to say something, but I shoved her out of my room while throwing the rest of the stuff at her “love you too” I smiled like a crazy person then slammed the door in her face.

I’m FREE.

I jumped face first on the bed, sighing, finally I was free.

I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep after the nightmares had finally left my room. My body was going into that final stage of falling asleep when something fell on my head and on my face. I groaned and opened my eyes to see pink fur. I frowned and drew that thing away from my face to take a fuller look and that’s when my dear friends any blink of sleep left me.

Pink pussy… pink pussy… pink pussycat.

How I never noticed this one before?

And who the fuck would make something like this?

People are getting sicker every day. Who would make this toy for children and who would even buy it? Oh, I know who would buy it. A sick hot CEO who takes in an obsession with pink and I’m the one to blame for it. I threw the toy away while screaming in frustration.

I sat there in silence, staring off at nothing. My phone beeped, but I ignored it for a while, then it beeped again. I frowned at the phone wondering who would text me beside Donna, who by the way was next door with the pink stuff doing god knows what. I checked the name of the person who sent the text.

Ah, who else would that be? My worst nightmare. The pink master.

I opened the text and it said

Bring the files that you are working on to my house.

I’ll send you the directions in a text

I opened the next text and it contained the address of his house, which was located in the finest place in the city. Bfft, of course. I put the phone away and ignored the text. I’m on my day off and I’m not going to work. And clearly not going to HIS HOUSE.  The lair of the devil.

He didn’t tell me when to go, so I’m going to catch a long nap and maybe after I’ll think about going.

The phone beeped again and I checked the text

NOW

“Okay, okay, ” I dragged myself off the bed and opened my closet to find something to wear. The weather was nice today, so maybe I should wear something simple. My eyes landed on a simple white sun dress, it was cute. I reached for the dress when a high pitched danger alarm rang in my head. It was screaming ALRET ALRET. EASY ACCESS.