The Wrong Indian Flag | LGBTQ+[ON HOLD]

|3.1| several types of issues

If anyone is asked to describe me, they will say Shilpa is a nice, studious, quiet girl who is sweet, mature, and understanding.

If that is true, why am I being an actual asshole to Alisha and acting all weird? I am pretending like her compliments are offensive and everything she says is flirty. Like all boys who liked girls did not flirt with all girls, girls who liked other girls did not either. Yet it is presumed so.

I found this dumb stereotype when I googled what it meant to date both guys and girls like Alisha, which is apparently either can be 'bisexuality' or another orientation called 'pansexuality.' I want to understand her and these kinds of diverse relationships better because all my life, I have never heard of such a thing.

I may not have known about this toxic mindset when I talked to Alisha, but I still feel guilty that I have played into this stereotype. Not to mention, I also have been hypocritical when I jumped to the conclusion that she was flirting. Her ambiguous statement could have meant anything but I chose to take it the wrong way. I don't do this when I entertain actual flirting from Tara.

Tara once spent hours one day practicing lines on me she wanted to use on Jay when she was going to ask him out the first time. I heard every crappy pickup line ever. For heaven's sake, absolutely filthy stuff had spewed out of her mouth. I have read erotica with far more sexually suggestive things when I was bored. Back in the day, I had even read One Direction x Reader fanfics, among other celebrities x reader fanfic, and fanfics are nasty as hell. A whole another level nasty and dirty. It was a guilty pleasure of mine, and possibly my darkest secret.

Even Raj and a couple of other guys over the years have flirted and hit on me, saying way more sexual stuff.

So, why had I made such a big deal when Alisha had paid me a few compliments and said something that could mean anything?

Because her words do weird things to you. Tara's and Raj's don't.

No, no they don't.

You like it.

No, I don't.

Why am I lying to myself? I can't deny it. I can't stop thinking about Alisha's words.

'You have no idea what you to me, Shilpa Patel.'

I shiver just thinking about it and my skin erupts with goosebumps.

Regardless, Alisha does weird things to me and while one part of me says it's wrong, the other says, finally.

I think that part of me always knew I was different.

Tara always gushes about guys and I never really participate in her enthusiasm. I sometimes look at girls longer than I need to. Never did that with guys. Hell, I don't even remember looking at a guy long enough to see if he was hot or not. I always just chalked it up to me being weird and creepy, me being jealous of other girls, and not finding any guy attractive.