Broken Spirit Book 2: Desperate Times

Chapter Eighteen: Serefina

Drake shook me awake to tell me what had happened. Only once he saw my reaction to the news, did he tell Terra to free me from her crudely-made chains. On the other side of the room, Nadia and Terra had knelt beside a body covered in blood.

I shakily get to my feet and walk over to them just in time to see Nadia bend water over Levi. The water begins to glow.

"I didn't have time to do this properly before," Nadia mutters, mostly to herself. "I was so upset and confused and angry at Kavik, and you should only ever try to heal someone when you're calm and in control."

Terra places a hand on her shoulder.

"What's going to happen to Kavik?" I ask.

Nadia glances up sharply at the sound of my voice. Several emotions scatter across her features. "I'm glad to see you're okay," she finally says. Then, "He'll be arrested, of course."

"He'll need healing too, probably," Terra adds.

Drake snorts.

I gaze over Nadia's shoulder at Levi's ashen face. "Is he going to be alright?"

After a few tense minutes, Nadia sits back and wipes sweat off her forehead. "I think so," she says.

"I'll go find help," Terra says. She stands quickly and starts to hurry from the room.

"I'll go with you," Drake offers.

She smiles and waits for him to catch up to her.

Nadia turns completely to me. "Are you hurt? I can try to heal anything major."

I shake my head. "Save your energy," I tell her.

She nods.

We remain there in silence, both watching Levi's chest rise and fall with shallow breaths. I still can't believe he's here.

Eventually, guards and palace servants swarm into the room. Healers gently transport Levi to somewhere more comfortable, while guards handle Kavik nearby. As his shouting echoes back to us, Nadia gets to her feet and follows the sound.

I remain behind, looking more closely at the destruction around me. Vaguely, I can recall a few details, which swirl around my head confusingly. I stare at my hands, covered in my friends' blood. Did Drake really say those words?

I take in a shuddering breath. I know what I have to do. When I wipe my eyes, I'm surprised to see they're still dry.

The next day, we all visit Levi together, even though he's still unconscious. At first, we're all unusually quiet, as if to respect the sanctity of a place of healing. Yet the silence doesn't last long, and soon everyone talks to each other how we used to, before everything went to hell.

I allow myself a small smile listening to one of Terra's jokes, and if anyone notices that I'm being unusually quiet, they don't comment on it.

The conversation inevitably turns to future plans, and that's when I start to tense up. Terra hopes to leave soon to return to the Earth Kingdom. Eventually, we are all supposed to join her there.

Every time I close my eyes, I watch the destruction all over again. I feel my fists punch my friends, over and over on an endless loop.

I was wrong to think I could be anything other than what I am.

They are all talking—Drake, Nadia, and Terra—all comparing information and making plans for a future I cannot be a part of.

"I can't stay," I say, and everyone stops. Looks at me.

Nadia finally speaks. "What?"

"I'm dangerous." I look at Drake. "Yesterday was the second time I've almost killed you."

"But you broke out of it this time," he argues.

"That doesn't change the fact that every time I hear a certain phrase, I lose control," I say. "Imagine if I went into the Avatar state like that."

"Where do you want to go then?" he asks.

I open my mouth to reply, but nothing comes out.

"Police are probably still looking for you in the Earth Kingdom," Terra says quietly.

"Which we can sort out," Nadia says, glaring at her cousin.

"Of course," Terra rushes to agree, and I almost laugh.

"Narumi told me of a possible way to get rid of what's in my brain, but I have to do it alone," I say.

I smile to reassure them, but underneath that my heart is breaking. Narumi did talk with me about the brainwashing, when I went to her to ask for help locating Drake. She told me that she believed it would always be in my subconscious, waiting for the trigger word to set it off again. She could be wrong, of course, but I don't think so.

I will always be programmed to attack. No one is safe around me anymore. The best thing for everyone is if I stay far away, so that is what I will do.

"How long will you be gone?" Terra asks.

I hesitate. "Hard to say. A while."

Nadia's eyes narrow and I fear she can see through my bluff. To my relief, she doesn't call me out on it. "We'll miss you," she says instead.

I hug them, one by one, trying to convey a lot of unspoken emotions with the hug. They all graciously overlook how horrible I am at hugging, and squeeze back tightly.

"Stay in touch," Nadia says. "I can't be the Avatar without you."

You have to be, I think, but do not say. "Of course."

Drake approaches last, and I brace myself.

"I'm coming with you," he says.

I shake my head. "You can't."

"You don't know that it will happen again, but if it does, I'm the only one who got through to you."

I look away, because he has a point. "You've been lucky, so far. I can't live with myself if I hurt someone I care about."

He steps closer. "You don't have to do everything alone."

Dammit. I told myself I wouldn't cry, but I know he won't take no for an answer. Determination resides in his gaze, and I pretend to relent.

"Okay."

I don't want my friends' last memory of me to be argumentative.

That night, we all sleep in the palace. Drake insists on staying in the same room as me, probably suspecting I may try to run. But all I have to do is wait until his muscles relax and breaths even out. Then I slip carefully out of bed and dress in the warmest clothes I can find.

I hesitate at the door. Despite myself, I turn around and stare at him, wondering if I'll ever see him again. My fingers tighten around the door handle and I open it and step outside. Closing it behind me, I hurry down the halls as quietly as I can. I don't slow until I reach the stables where Mizuchi is staying.

The dragon perks up when he sees me.

"Hey," I whisper, stroking his nose. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you a lot lately, but that's gonna change now. You up for a long journey?"

He just stares at me with his impossibly large eyes.

I take that as a yes, and lead him out into the cold night. After climbing onto his back, he leaps into the air with one powerful thrust of his wings.

The city slumbers below us as we soar overhead. I lie my head down on Mizuchi's strong back and close my eyes. Just like that, we leave the North Pole behind.