StrayKids and You

Chan "Anxiety"

Ship ChanxReader

Gender not specified

Genre fluff? I just feel so horribly bad right now I want to comfort myself and anyone out there who needs it

Trigger warning mentions of anxiety/panic attack, some sad stuff but I promise it gets better.

Disclaimer My intention is NOT to romanticize any mental illness, anxiety or depression are NOT romantic. I just want to feel like there's actually someone by my side when I have an anxiety attack.

Word count 1.2k

***

You had better and worse days. Not like you could control them at all. Sometimes getting out of bed was the most difficult task of the day. Sometimes falling asleep was.

Thoughts going through your mind at the speed of light, and you can't stop them. Making you feel worthless, selfless and useless. And there is no place for you to hide from them.

Today was one of those days. You woke up with that feeling in your gut. A hunch that told you it wasn't going to end well.

You didn't find it hard to get dressed though. Putting on a grey hoodie, black comfy jeans and a pair of Vans. You also ate breakfast successfully and were in time to get on the bus to go to school.

You sat near the end, on the closest seat to the window, and stared outside during the trip. You always found yourself mesmerized by the sky colours, specially at the sunrise and at the dawn.

Perhaps it's not going to go that bad... You said to yourself, having some faith. It's been a while since you smiled sincerely, looking at the sun.

***

Surprisingly, you got through the day. Sure, school was droughtful and sometimes could make your everything crumble, but you were trying to get used to it.

After entering the small shared flat where you lived with some friends from class, you let your bag fall to your bedroom floor.

It was dead silent. None of your classmates had arrived home yet. You decided to text them before doing some homework. They weren't answering.

Maybe they're studying in the library so their phone is on silent mode... You thought. You shaked your head and decided to focus on the school work that had to be done.

And you tried. Really. You tried so hard, like at everything you do. But today wasn't a good day.

Without realising, you started spacing out. Your brain was acting on his own, bringing back your worst fears.

If they went to the library without me they probably don't need me. Will they miss me? Wait, do they actually like me? No, they probably don't.

I'm not now enough. I'm so shy and quiet they didn't even notice I'm not there.

If at least I was pretty... But I'm and ugly potato, who doesn't look good in anything. Why would I even try? It's not like I get on well with people anyways.