I've Been Saving Myself For You (Kellic)

Chapter 12

Once I reached the cemetery, I almost collapsed to the ground. I was out of breath and my legs were giving up on me from the running, but that didn't stop me from making my way over to my mom's grave. This was the first time I visited her since the funeral. I just couldn't force myself to do it earlier.

I kept walking. Mr. Parker...Mrs. Brown...Emily Bostwick. Here it is. Her grave was surrounded by tons of flowers, photos and candles. I immediately felt pretty selfish. I came here to complain about how my life is fucked up and I didn't even bring her a flower. I sat in front of the headstone, looking at my lap. I felt my eyes starting to fill with tears once again. I wasn't a good son to her before she died and I'm not a good son to her not even now. And here go the tears again. I buried my head into my hands as I cried, just in case someone came here. I don't need anyone staring at me while I'm crying.

I'm not even sure how long I've been sitting there for, maybe couple of minutes, anyway, when I ran out of tears, I looked up again.

"Hi, mom." I started. "I'm sorry I haven't brought anything for you, I know I'm a terrible son and I'm also sorry that I haven't visited you since the funeral." I looked around the graveyard and spotted exactly what I was hoping for to find. "I'll be right back." I told my mom and quickly rushed over to the little spot in the corner of the cemetery. There was maybe 20 little purple harebells. I collected the flowers and made my way back to my mom's grave. "Here." I said and placed them on the stone.

I sat there for a while, just thinking about what to say. "I'm talking to dad again. He wants me to talk to him about everything." I chuckled slightly. "He's worse than teenage girls, he just gossips for hours and hours. Mostly about me and Vic."

My smile quickly faded at the thought of Vic. "Vic broke up with me, you know." I told her. "It really hurts me, I-I don't understand it." I choked out. "He told his friend to broke up with me instead of doing it himself. He didn't even tell me why, he just did it." I realised how pathetic I was in that moment and chuckled at my own ridiculousness.

"I'm sorry for bothering you with this shit and sorry for swearing." I smiled a little. "I miss you so much, mommy. I just wish I didn't tell all those things to you. I get that you just wanted to be part of my life and I was rude to you, I'm so sorry. If only it was me who was in the car crash instead of you, you could be home with dad, enjoying your life like you should and instead you're up there. Hopefully, it's better there than here on Earth." I smiled.

I shivered as I felt the wind rub against my body. "Anyway, I should probably go, it was nice talking to you. I love you mom." I said and got up, walking towards the exit. I began walking home and soon enough, I was standing in our hallway, putting down my shoes. My dad wasn't home yet so I checked the time and realised that my last period was just ending and that my dad won't be home for another couple of hours. With that, I grabbed an ice cream and a spoon and made my way over to the living room. I put the movie Jennifer's Body in the DVD player and sat down on the couch as I began eating my ice cream and watching the movie. I normally didn't like watching horror movies, but this one wasn't that scary, plus I've seen it like 30 times before so I knew what to expect.

I had been watching it for like ten minutes when someone interrupted me by knocking on the front door. I groaned, placed the ice cream on the coffee table and went to open the door. I should have checked who it was before I opened it though. I'm such an idiot...

I opened the door and just when I saw the familiar brown curls, I went to close it, but Vic, of course, stopped me.

"Kellin, wait." He said.

I groaned and opened the door, saying, "No, Vic, I don't give a fuck, get out, I don't wanna talk to you." I told him and was about to close the door again, but he stopped me once more.