I've Been Saving Myself For You (Kellic)

Chapter 1

Do you ever feel like you're in everything alone? Like, you can be in a room full of people, but you're still lonely. You can sit at a crowded bus station, but it doesn't feel like it. It feels like you're the only person in the world. It feels like no one even seems to notice or see you. Maybe they see you, but still they don't acknowledge you because they're too busy with their own lives.

I think about that a lot. How no one would notice if I just disappeared one day and never came back. How I could just end it all right now. I'm not suicidal or something, not at all. I just like to ponder about how it would affect people in my life if I easily vanished, ran away or died. Would they even care? Would they grieve over me? Would they be happy that they finally got rid of me?

My parents wouldn't probably give a damn, would they? No, they wouldn't. They didn't when I brought my first F in fifth grade. They didn't when I won a drawing competition in seventh grade. And they don't give a damn when I don't even talk to them, they're most likely glad that I don't bother their oh-so-busy lives. Okay, I have to admit that they're not that bad. They still give me food and a roof over my head. The only thing that I lack in my life is love.

Why am I telling you this? Because either way you wouldn't be surprised that one day everything changed. One specific person changed everything even though he had no idea he did.

*****

It was Thursday October the 16th and I was sitting in the canteen. It was lunch time but I didn't feel like eating as always, so I just sat there with my notebook, drawing the scene before me. I portrayed the nerds table and how they sat there, reading all kinds of books and magazines. I outlined the cheerleaders table with all the skinny girls, talking about makeup and boys. Lastly, I drew the jocks table, all the guys looking dumber than ever.

"That's really cool." I jumped in fear as someone sat next to me. They never sit with me, people usually ignore me so why did this stranger decide to keep me company? Slightly, I turned my head to left so I could see who in the hell wanted to be that near to me. Just as I did so I couldn't believe my own eyes. I could recognize those shoulder-lenght hair everywhere, but why would Vic Fuentes sit next to me?

"What are you doing here?" I questioned him in confusion. As you can tell, I wasn't used to having someone sit with me during lunch or any other social occasion so my confusion was in place.

"I'm sitting, that drawing is pretty awesome, uhm...what was your name again?" He asked me. Why would Victor Fuentes, one of the football players, want to know my name? Last time I checked, all of the football players only cared about girls and football.

"So? Aren't you gonna introduce yourself?" He wanted to know when I didn't answer his question. I was getting really annoyed with him which was new to me. I never let other people to get on my nerves.

"Nope." I said and continued drawing. I thought that he would leave me alone after that, but no such luck.

"And why not? I'm Vic, nice to meet you. See, it's not that hard." He stated and put his hand forward for me to shake it, but I didn't. After three years of going to the same school, he decides to get to know me. Interesting.

"I know who you are." I told him and he sighed, pulling his hand back.

"Therefor, I have every right to who you are." I was starting to get pissed off in that moment. Like seriously, who does he think he is? Maybe when I tell him my name, then he would leave.

"I'm Kellin Quinn, it's not at all nice to meet you and I gotta go, bye." I told him and got up, packing my bag and walking towards my next period. I couldn't hear anyone following me so I assumed that he gave up.

I made to the Science class with ten minute fund. It was one of my favorite classes, probably because the teacher, Mr. Iero, was the coolest teacher in the school. As the class started to fill in, I just watched all the students. None of them seemed to notice me. I still wasn't sure if I liked that I was practically invisible or if I wanted to be noticed or even cared for.

It was half an hout to the lesson when the doors suddenly flew open. Just as everyone else, I redirected my attention to the person that felt the necessary to disturb the middle of the lesson. In the moment I saw them, I wish I didn't. Of course, standing there was Vic Fuentes, staring in my direction. I childishly rolled my eyes at him and focused on the drawing of snake in my notebook.

"I'm sorry for being late, it won't happen again." I heard Vic say. A moment later, I could sense someone next to me, for the second time that day. It was getting really uncomfortable, that much attention at once.

"You thought you got rid of me, didn't you?" Vic asked.

"I was hoping so." I told him and he just chuckled at me. That wasn't meant to be funny, asshole.

"What are you drawing?" He asked me.

"Stuff." I answered bitterly.

"It's nice." He told me and I 'hmm'd in response. I was just silently hoping for the lesson to be over so I could go home finally.

I guess I was lucky cause right when I was about to check what time it was, the bell rung. I packed my things and seconds later, I was out the door. Ignoring Vic's callings of my name, I made it out the building and began walking towards the silent place people often call 'home'.

I was standing at the crosswalk, waiting for my chance to cross the road when somebody tapped on my shoulder. Something in my head told me that I should ignore that person since I knew who it was, but still, I turned around to face no one else but Vic.

"What the hell do you want?" I nearly yelled at him. That was so unlike me, I never snapped at other people like that.

"I wanted to ask you if I could walk you home." He said, not in the slightest stunned by my out-burst.

"No, you can't." I said, this time calmly, and crossed the road.

Vic caught up with me, causing me to roll my eyes at him once more. "Too late." He informed me. Once again, I thought about why would he want to spend his precious time with me. It couldn't be his own choice. Maybe someone made him do that. But on the other hand, no one cared enough to do that. I should just ask him...

"Were you, like, dared to talk to me or something?" I asked him and turned my attention to him. That was for the first time I actually noticed that he was pretty attractive which made it even more weird, him talking to me. He looked at me with something what seemed like anger. Why was he angry?

"God dammit, Kellin, do you really think I would do that? Is it that hard to believe that somebody is actually interested in you?!" He yelled at me. Maybe I was really acting like an asshole towards him.

"I'm sorry. But yes, it is. No one ever was and no one ever will be." I told him truthfully and looked down at my shoes, not wanting to face him. How did he make me feel so vulnerable?

"But why? Why do you think that?" He asked, looking at me. I knew he was staring at me, I could feel his gaze on me. It made me feel uncomfortable. I knew him for like two hours or so and here he is, already asking me personal questions. I'm really not that kind of person that tells everyone their life story right after they meet them.

"Be-because...I-I gotta go." I stuttered and quickly ran away. I turned around just to see that Vic was still standing where I left him. I continued running until I got home. I quickly rushed to my room and started breathing heavily. What is he doing to me?

I crawled into my bed, trying to forget the whole Vic thing. He can go fuck himself for all I know. I hate him, I fucking hate him.

*****

That's right, new story :)) This is the first chapter, I hope you guys like it. It's a bit shorter but hopefully, the others will be longer.