One song

1-How Will I Know?

Dianne's POV:

I can't believe I celebrated the New Year with an absolute dreamboat. At least, I thought he was at the time. I still do, but I'm worried our relationship is just stagnant. Neither of us seem to want to go anywhere with it and I think we're both afraid of the future. I met my ideal dream partner on Strictly last year and I know Joe is going to feel the pressure when I have a new partner. He's admitted he will be jealous. Guess I'll just have to hope for another Revvo. Too old and also not into women. Surely Strictly would do that for me and my relationship. I'm contemplating everything with Joe when he comes in and sits next to me in silence. I know how this ends. I've been here too many times. If he's about to break up with me, I can sense it. The look in his eyes has changed and we're constantly fighting to have something new. I knew eventually he'd get bored. I guess I just didn't expect it to be this soon.
"Joe, look." I breathe in, already regretting what's coming next.
"Sh, don't speak. I just want a minute longer with you." We both know the inevitable and we're fighting it. Still, I fall into him.
"It's just some time apart. We can get through this." I mumble to myself, hoping that Joe secretly hears. All I want is to lean into his shoulder and have the whole world collapse. We can do this.
"Dianne, you know how badly I want this to work." I sigh. Here it comes, the whole speech that I always seemed to be cursed with. I don't give a damn for it.
"Joe, I get it. I've been through this before." I know this is Joe's first serious relationship and I'm trying to let him take the lead but he's skirting around it and quite frankly if he's going to do it, it pains me that he can't just throw the words out already.
"You have? When?" I laugh at that.
"Joe I've been in relationships before. I know how it goes when it fails."
"Who said ours is failing?" I relax a little at that.
"Wait, that's not what this is about?" My psychic senses might have been wrong. Again.
"I don't want to leave you." He tenses up just as I've relaxed. I urge him to continue.
"We're going to be so far away from each other. How are you so sure of this working?" The truth is, I'm not. I just know that I believe in us more than I've believed in any of my previous relationships and for me that should be enough. Instead, I shrug whilst thinking of what to actually say.
"I just don't want to hold onto you for too long and then lose the best thing that's ever happened to me in a horrific way. I don't want a messy break up and I don't want anything to change. You're the best person in my life and I need you more than words, but what if I'm just kidding myself?" I internally sigh, knowing what I'm going to do.
"We're going to spend a week together. And if you still feel like we're slipping and it would only lead to resentment then we'll split. But if you realise that I'm head over heels for you and I'd never choose anyone else then we'll stay. If you're unhappy with that, walk out the door now." He finally comes closer to me. We're so afraid of getting hurt that the reluctance is getting to be too much. I'm hoping this week will solve that.

I'm not even sure what I'm doing when Joe comes over and begins singing. I know he's just being Joe, but some part of me thinks that this song could be the key to us solving all our issues. It's a stretch, but I think it could be done. There's nothing about this song that doesn't remind me of us. And yet, I don't even know the name of it. Joe senses this and quietens down.
"You okay?" He asks me, pulling me closer to his scent. I'm going crazy over all of this. His singing, his scent, just him in general. But we don't work the same way anymore. It feels rushed and uncomfortable.
"Yeah, I'm just worried." There's no point in lying when he knows something is wrong.
"Worried about what?" He turns to face me, never letting me out of his grip. I know he's really trying to make this work but I feel like we're just going backwards and forwards on a boat that's meant to operate sideways.
"Us." I stifle a sob, understanding that me crying would only make the situation worse.
"Why? We're still together, aren't we?" Joe asks in a wondrous manner.
"Yeah, but I'm worried. That you'll realise we're better off without each other in this week. That I'll lose you forever. I don't want to lose you." I repeat his words from earlier. The universe has thrown so much at us lately that we're just trying to grip onto the one thing we know and love.
"We'll make it through. This is just a test. Would you rather spend a week away from me or a week with me?" I settle down into his arms again.
"Can we try both? That way, we'll know for certain." My mind is exploding. I keep posing the question why did I ever say that? But Joe just nods.
"Anything for you." He kisses my forehead. Maybe I'm just being dumb. That's usually why my relationships don't work out. Because I get overly paranoid. Maybe we did jump to quickly though. How will I know?

A/N: Okay guys so this is really ambitious and I just read this back as I started the project ages ago and haven't looked at it since and I'm actually kinda happy with it and I hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed picking the songs and writing it xx