It All Started With a Diary

answers

My hands shook on either side of me. Fear mixed with frustration all smothered by the anger coursed through my blood like a river. I knew by now that I was red in the face, and that my eyes twinkled with tears. I glared down at the plate, the food now blurry in my sight.

"I hate you so much," I muttered without another thought.

My father's expression dropped at my words. In mere seconds, he stumbled, eyes growing brighter with tears or shock before his head fell. He breathed in incredibly slow, squeezing his eyes close tightly. I knew that my words had hurt him, but my anger edged my guilt right out.

I left without a second thought to it. I hurried past my dad, my feet in step with the beat of my heart. I didn't grab a jacket, nor did I feel the pelt of rain as it hit and Cooley burned at my skin.

I didn't know how long I ran, or if I were even running at all. All I knew though, was that I was far from home, and much closer to someone else's.

Day was beginning to slip into night the longer I continued. The autumn breeze tousled my hair as I went. It only added the lack of color to my skin. I didn't even know where I was going; I just needed to get out of there before I broke in half.

My fists were clenched so tightly, I thought my nails had broken past the skin and drew blood. The anger I held at the moment was one that nearly sent my mind into hysteria.

I didn't know what my father was thinking. All I knew though, was that he definitely wasn't thinking. Not rationally.

I couldn't help but wonder if my father still held feelings for Ryland's mom. He had to, he always ended up coming back to her.

I couldn't understand how Ryland was just as capitulating as our father was. His mom hurt him even more than my father and I by leaving. I still remembered the months he spent in his room, smothering his cries with a pillow and sulking around the house. I did everything I could to help him, to make him feel as loved as I had with him and dad. It all worked and he was able to move on, just enough. But, he had thrown it all away for her.

Maybe his reasoning stood by the fact that she was his mother, but I still wasn't able to accept it. Despite leaving my brother, she was malicious since the moment she met me. I was conceived when her and my father were on a break, but Teresa didn't let that alter her hatred. She treated me like a mistake, like a burden and a reminder of what she couldn't give my father: another child.

She had nothing on my mother, but I still remembered the hope I had that Teresa could love me, that she would be the mother I never had. It hadn't happened, and I accepted it for what it was. Yet, I still couldn't understand Ryland when it came to forgiving his mother, and my stepmother so fucking easily.

The ache set in throughout my legs as soon as I stopped running. I pressed my palms to my knees, my breathing labored and lobby until I finally looked up. Past the rain and newly fresh thunder, I saw the familiar sports car.

Somehow, someway, I was at Kade's. I didn't know how long I'd been running, but apparently I'd been doing it enough to get here. My mind was strayed and fuzzy, but the longer I stared at the front door, the storm grew even quieter.

I was unsure if I should knock or just go home and figure it out alone. From his car, he was here, but I didn't know if he meant true to his promise. To be there if I needed. I'd never had anyone say that to me before, nor had I intended to before him. It felt comfortably strange to actually have someone to care and to listen.

The clap of thunder decided for me. I was already here. It would only take a couple of seconds to have an answer to my doubt.

With a clouded mind, I knocked on the front door. It didn't take long before I saw a figure approach behind the glass window.