A Dreamers Dream

A Royal conundrum. Windsor, England.

"So, who is she?" Ben asks, apropos of nothing between mouthfuls of creamy pasta, causing a lump of my own salad to get lodged in my throat. I cough loudly to clear it before replying.

"She? She who?" I say nonchalantly, trying my best to look as though I've got nothing to hide.

"Don't start with me H, I've known you too long you can't-fool me. I know things are going well for you and you've every reason to be happy. Still, you haven't stopped smiling since you sat down, and don't think I've not noticed you checking your phone every five minutes, very unlike you. So come on, spill already." Ben orders me with a knowing smile.

Shit. What do I do? Maddie and I have been careful to keep our relationship completely between us up until very recently, and even now only her immediate family are aware that we are anything more than friends. I'm not entirely sure that she'd be too happy with me telling people. I know it's been bothering her keeping it from Sammy, so it seems unfair of me to start blabbing, but at the same time, Ben is practically family to me, and I know I can trust him.

"Well, er, her names Maddie," I admit quietly

"It's like getting blood out of a stone. Great, she's got a name. That's a wonderful start. Care to divulge anything else?" Ben teases me and pours us both a refill of sparkling water from the jug on the table between us the large cubes of ice clinking as they tumble into the glasses.

"It's just, we aren't really telling people about us yet that's all, it's sort of complicated."

"When is it ever not complicated with you, H? You know you can trust me, though, right?" Ben replies and looking into his eyes, I know he's right, besides I'm desperate to tell someone about Maddie.

"I know mate. It's just, er, she's a member of my crew." I say quietly, hoping to god that he's not going to judge me or get the wrong idea.

"Harold, you sly dog! Fraternising with your staff. I thought that was against your rules?"

"It is! I mean it was, but, argh, you should see her Ben, then you'd understand. From the minute I met her I didn't stand a chance she's, she's... wonderful."

"Wow. You're really smitten, aren't you? How long has this been going on?"

"Only a few weeks, but yeah, I think I'm falling for her. To be honest, if I had my way I'd be at home with her now not sat here, no offence."

"Ha! None taken mate. Now, tell me about this girl who's got you all lovesick." Ben asks me again.

And so I do. In fact, once I start talking about Maddie, I find it increasingly hard to stop. I tell Ben about the first few interactions I had with her, where she seemed totally incapable of standing on her own two feet and was always crashing into me or dropping something. I tell him about the night I went out to find her at four am when she got drunk and wandered off in Australia. I tell him how it felt to kiss her in the tranquil lapping waves of the ocean as the sun rose over the horizon. I explain how scared of flying she is and the deep bruises she left on my hand after our first long-haul flight together when she grasped my fingers so tightly that my rings dug into my flesh. Not that I found myself not caring about it one bit. How, when she sings, I feel like I am transported to another world by the tone of her voice and how I could listen to her forever without ever getting bored. How we've spent a night or two curled up on the sofa at my house in London without guitars singing songs from every genre known to man and how much she wows me with her talent. I tell him how she makes me laugh every single day, how she beats my arse at computer games and doesn't let me get away with shit. How she pushes me to be a better version of myself.

By the time I am done I find that my warm chicken salad is now stone cold despite the hot sun beating down on it through the wispy scattered clouds hovering above Windsor this afternoon, my cheeks are red, and there is a thin sheen of sweat on my forehead, and all I want right now is to have Maddie beside me, holding my hand.