I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I can't breathe when I'm not talking
to you or Kai or Bayleaf
and I can't depend on you guys all the time.
I hate depending on people
but my head thinks it's necessary.
It thinks it's dying
if it's not with people it loves.
I can't breathe,
I can't think,
I can't see.
I can either depend on my head
not to break
or I'll bring down one of the three.
It's not fair to my friends,
not fair to my family,
hell, its not fair on me.
I don't know what I'm doing-
help, please, can you help.
Or not; either way it will end the same.
You will leave
and they will leave
and I will cry
and I will sob
and I'll find more people to lean on,
slowly getting more fucked up as I go.
I lose my way so easily,
I let others change my mind.
If I let others choose for me,
it's easier.
Maybe not the right or moral or kind decision
but I won't disagree with my friends. Because if I'm nothing,
if I have no opinions that differ to theirs, there's nothing left for them to hate.
I'll make sure they can't hate me,
but I'll be despising myself for the rest of my life.
