Angel of Music ( TaehyungXReader)~ Phantom Of The Opera ~

chapter 39-The heart is slow to learn

Y/n made her way into the quiet hallways, trying her best to regain her composure and wiping the salty tears from her face. She sighed for the umpteenth time that day. Her mind is too filled with selfish thoughts.

She loved Taehyung. Very much so. She will admit that to herself at least.

She loved him so much, it pains her to see him try so hard to regain their past relationship, only to have her shake her head and push him away.
In These last couple of days she hasn't done much to show him she had affectionate feelings for him. She shown anger, sadness, confusion, and a liking but not love as they did before.

Already the ' what ifs' popped into her mind.

' what if Jungkook resents me for the rest of his life '

' what if I choose Jungkook?'

' what if I told Taeyeon...'

What if indeed. What would happen to the child if she finds out who her father really is? Would she be appalled? Surely she enjoys taehyung's company friendly wise, but fatherly?

What if she chose neither of them? Then of course she'd feel guilty for taking both father figures out of her daughters life.

Y/n hated love-but loved it so.

Love isn't a throwaway emotion, something to invoke on a whim. It isn't transitory like lust or something to regret like anger. When love is allowed to permeate every action, influence every thought, guide every deed, it leads to an inner peace not attainable any other way. It is the light in every dark night, shining brightly into each recess of the mind, healing, igniting passions that would otherwise have died. Love leads the way to being who we were born to be, people who prize peace, dignity and honour, people who find solutions that work for the many instead of the few. Love is what we must hold for one another, especially when tensions are high, for it is the trapdoor in the prison wall, the only one, and she hated it -but loved it so.

She couldn't bear the thought of breaking taehyung's heart. Not again. She couldn't fathom what he felt when he discovered she was engaged to Jungkook and raised a child with him.

And Jungkook as well- had she choose Taehyung. He would feel the betrayal and all efforts He has done for her has gone to waste. Eight years of love, blood, sweat, and tears gone to hell for a man no one knows.

What if she is to follow what Madame Giry said to her, earlier that afternoon? That she should listen to what her hearts tells her and go forth and do it. Seems like her heart is the only thing to get her out of the mess she's in, even though it was her very heart who got her in it.

Why do one risk all they have? Why give into the lure that calls From everything forbidden?What attracts us to the night and captures them however hard they fight?
It seems the heart is slow to learn, no one can tell it what to do.
It never learns from its mistakes, what twists and turns it puts one through. Oh yes, the heart is slow to learn, So every lesson is in vain
It goes the way it wants to go, regardless of the pain.

And so, she foolishly go on
Ignoring all the signs
Dismissing all the doubt inside her. For the heart is slow to learn. No one can tell it what to do
It never learns from its mistakes, that's why it finally breaks And overpowers you.
Some passions never let one go, Some fires never cease to burn
It shouldn't come as a surprise,That the heart is slow to learn.

What is her heart pulling her towards? Which life awaits for her?

As she reached the foot of her door she stopped. Silently she looked at the wood of the door,as if somehow it was magically going to guide her. She could hear Jungkook's soft snoring from inside and let out a nasally chuckle. Her childhood best friend and fiance calmly sleeping as she had sleepless nights because of him and another.

She lifted her left hand and looked at the tri-diamond ring that nestled on her ring finger. Her engagement ring. Proof she accepted jungkook's proposal in marriage. To have and to hold. This ring had little significance to her and yet...

" What do I do?"