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#1 - How Do I Get Over Him?

Hi, genie_us!

I've had this crush on a guy for about two years now, and I don't exactly know if he likes me back. But, he sends me a lot of mixed signals.

But one time, our class had to go tramping (hill hiking). We were heading back, and I joined my crush and his friends in their group.

They didn't seem to want me in their group. My crush didn't seem okay with the idea either, because I was 'too slow'. 

When we'd got down, my teacher let the group go back (so the others could catch up). Unfortunately, my crush's friend told me not to, and...yeah, I started crying.

My crush keeps sending me so many mixed signals, but this is, for certain, the last straw!!! I hate him.

How do I get over him?

::

Hey you!

Thank you for your message! I really hope I can help you.

Firstly, can I say that I know EXACTLY how it feels to like a guy for two damn years and get mixed signals throughout? You think you know him one moment but in the next he's treating you so coldly and you wonder what you did. Yea girl, I feel you. Guys are frustrating!

It's great that you took initiative to try and be with him during your trip, because lots of girls have a crush but never try to talk to him. But, one thing - he was with his mates.

Guys can be jerks when they're with their mates.

A lot of the time, guys change when they're with their friends. I think it's some sort of "I'm fucking hard-core and shit" kind of deal, as if they're trying to prove something to their friends. They never really grow out of it to be honest. I was once talking to a guy about this, and he said that he didn't actually think guys did it intentionally. 

So one thing I'd tell you is that: don't take it too much to heart. 

It was rude of your crush's friend to tell you not to go with them. But it wasn't your crush speaking, so you shouldn't hold it against him - rather, it should be his stupid friend. 

Don't get discouraged from it all. And don't say you hate him because you definitely don't (A TWO YEAR CRUSH, REMEMBER). But I can understand your frustration.

You said he sends you mixed signals, which means that there've also been some good signs, too. Don't just give up!

What you need to do it get him alone. Just you and him, casually talking, without your friends or his friends around. Getting to talk to your crush alone is the best feeling in the world, because he's going to be himself. 

When you get ahold of him, get it all out. Carefully, I mean. I don't want you to scare him or anything, but there are some things that you need to clear up.

You see, you don't know how he feels about you. I assume that you haven't had the courage to ask?

Having this talk with him will help clear up almost everything. Just talk normally for a bit, make each other laugh, joke around or whatever. Then, you've kind of have to tell him. Yup. Tell him that you like him. 

It's so fucking scary, I know. But you'll never know if you never try...right? You don't want to live with all these regrets. Whether or not he responds positively, that'll be your cue to know how to move on.

So let's say you've been talking and laughing for a while. Then, say something like:

"Can I ask you something?"