Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#45 - My best friend is hard to reach!

Hey.

I'm writing this for your agony aunt column. I have this friend right who is supposed to be my "best friend" but I really don't feel like she is. First off I tell her everything about my life and she barely even fills me in on what's going on with her. And then now that we've graduated high school and all she barely makes any attempts to communicate w/me and I always have to start the conversation. I need some advice because I'm about ten seconds away from being done with this girl.

I just feel like we're not as close as we used to be and like she's picking other people over me. And it's not like I don't make the effort to know stuff about her life. She just doesn't seem to care.

::

Hello!

Congratulations for graduating high school! I'm really sorry about your best friend though.

What I'd say is that sometimes, there are people not worth the effort. I know this sounds really bitchy to say, but it's not fair for you to spend so much energy on someone who is not willing to spend the same amount of energy on you. To be honest, the very idea of friendship - and even relationships - is that you're both willing to put in equal effort into learning about each other. And so the fact that you're putting in 100% and she's putting in 2% is an indicator that something is amiss here.

Don't concern yourself with people who don't concern themselves with you. I know that it hurts to let go of people you really care about, but sometimes it's necessary to do so because if you keep putting all this effort with no result, it gets tiring and tbh, it's just that much more painful.

I understand that you're holding on to the friendship on the basis of the possibility that it will be like old times. But that's what we always long for as human beings, huh. We always want things to 'go back to the way they were'.

But sometimes that's not the case, which is why we move on and look for better things. I think that you should be done with your 'best friend', because she's not willing to be that to you - she doesn't even seem to try and be your friend at least.

I think that this is the part where you move on with your life. I hate telling people to give up, I really do, but the thing is you can't really change other people and if this girl has made it her life mission to completely shut you out, I don't think there's much that you can do.

Look. Honey, there are far better people out there, around you, who want to be your friend and who will start the conversation and will want to see you smile. It's okay to miss her, but it's not the best idea to try and water a dead plant.

If she ever decides to speak to you, go ahead and talk to her. There's no harm in that, because you won't be treating her like the way she's treating you. But for now, minimize your efforts to reconnect with her. Go out and find nice and new friends, people you know will stick by your side regardless, and not shut you out like your apparent 'best friend'. You deserve people who want to build you up and see you shine.

And maybe you also shouldn't take it so personally. Maybe she's trying to look for something in other people, like popularity or something like that. I don't know, because I don't know her, but maybe the best way to reduce the pain is not to take her actions as a direct and deliberate offense to you.

I'm sorry I've been a bit too blunt today. But just to sum it up:

> Minimize the effort
> Move on with your epic life
> Mingle with others

Minimize, Move on, Mingle.

Hope I helped.

Lots of love,

- genie_us x