Lams Oneshots^^

For the Rest of Eternity

    He made his way through town, checking in on everyone. Considering he has to pass all of his friends houses in order to reach Alex's small home on the outskirts of New York, he figures this is the easiest way. His last stop is Herc, and John is there peering curiously over his shoulder when the group text comes in. He bites his lip when he sees that it's from Alex. He's afraid to see what condition Alex is in, he must have heard by now. John sits across from Herc while he reads the message out loud, unsurprisingly not noticing his comrade.

    "Hey guys. This is really hard for me to say. John killed himself last night. I'm sorry, I love you guys, and I'm sure you will understand. You all know how much I love him, you know I can't live without him. Without him I have nothing to live for. I will see you again. And please, if you guys love me too, don't try to talk me out of this. Goodbye." Herc feels his heart fall, and for the first time ever John sees him cry. But he doesn't respond to the text, and the phone doesn't buzz after he puts it down.

    John's heartbeat feels strange in his body, a hollow feeling that courses through him more fiercely now. What has he caused? Of course, even after dying John can't stop ruining everything. There's nothing he can do about it now though, and after all, John can easily sympathize with Alex. John stands up and leaves slowly, but not before resting a hand on Herc's shoulder and whispering a goodbye into his ear. John won't be returning to this world. Herc feels a shiver crawl up his spine and looks up, finding nothing more than the wooden chair that John used to occupy all that time ago. He lets his tears overtake him, and John slips away.

    Luckily, the house he and Alex shared is not far. John knows the only reason he's here, the only reason he's walking among the living instead of off in Heaven or wherever it is that the dead go. Somehow, he came to an understanding almost immediately. He can't move on without his love, without his soulmate, without Alex. It would seem he won't have long to wait. Despite the weighing guilt for driving Alex to this, John can't help the joy that flutters through him as he nears the house they shared. Finally he and Alex will be able to be together without the harsh judgement of others; they'll return to the stars together, just as Alex has always promised.

    John sighs as he enters, moving right through the door. Something draws him to the kitchen, an overwhelming need, and it's there that he finds Alex. A mess sitting against the back of the cabinets, his car keys abandoned in front of the open pantry door next to a granola bar. He's staring mindlessly at something only he can see, breathing deeply through his mouth, his phone limp in his hand. He tightens his grip on it suddenly and moves to a standing position. John watches as Alex passes by, tears slipping out of his beautiful eyes. Close behind, John follows Alex up the stairs and into the bathroom. He watches Alex as he throws his phone face down on the counter and starts to rummage through the cabinets, pulling out every pill bottle he can find.

    Alex stops only to wipe the tears out of his eyes, annoyed at how they block his vision. John lowers himself onto the edge of the bathtub, watching carefully. When Alex passes on, John will be right there with open arms. Once Alex has everything strewn on the counter, he fills a tall glass with water. He gnaws at his lip and stares at himself in the mirror, his heart heavy. Everything hurts, he never thought something could hurt so much. It isn't even just emotional pain, it's physical pain, it's everything. All Alex wants is to hold John, to see him again, to hear him say I love you. He wants and needs for John to make this pain go away.

    "Jackie, my love. Why did you do this? I'm so sorry, you were hurting and I didn't help you. That was my only job, to help you and make sure you were safe and protected. I'm sorry I failed you, dearest," he looks down and grasps a bottle, tears still stinging at his eyes, "I'll see you soon. I know you wouldn't want me to do this, but.." John frowns, knowing exactly what Alex is going through. The pain of the final moment, the weight of this choice that he can never turn back from. Alex needs reassurance; this is what he wants, but what would John say if he was here?

    John rises again and stands next to Alex in the mirror. Nobody has been able to see nor hear John, but Alex is special. Maybe if John tries hard enough, he'll be able to get the message across. Gently, he places his hand on Alex's shoulder, and Alex relaxes immediately with a slight gasp.

    "I love you. It's okay, Lexy." John's voice is soft, reaching Alex like a whisper on the breeze. Alex's mouth falls as he turns to the side, making perfect eye contact with John. John raises his eyebrows, shocked that Alex can see him.

    "John.." Alex chokes out, another wave of tears washing over his expression. John smiles tenderly, bringing a sense of ease to Alex's frayed nerves. John fades out of Alex's view as he steps away, taking his place once more on the edge of the bathtub. He watches as Alex works, the same fluid movements John knows so well. Alex opens bottle after bottle, pouring the different sizes and colors of capsules into his hand, then his mouth. Ten, fifty, one hundred. He doesn't stop until he feels dizzy, and he lowers himself into a sitting position against the cabinets, basking in the coolness of the tile. He closes his eyes, his breaths shallow and his heart rate slow.

    With every breath he's slipping, and when his eyelids fall John thinks that he's gone. But he isn't quite yet. He opens his eyes once more, catching John's as he had before. He closes them again and exhales for the last time, a lovely smile accenting his now peaceful features.

    John stares mournfully at the body, standing up to await whatever comes next. As before, he doesn't have long to wait.

    "Jackie?" The voice is low and tinged with disbelief, but it's unmistakable. John looks up at the smaller man.

    "Hey, Alex," He murmurs, smiling. Alex grins at him and throws himself forward, landing in John's safe embrace.

    "John.." He whispers, "I love you."

    "I love you too," John returns, lifting Alex's head from his shoulder. From downstairs noise ensues, the sound of the front door crashing open, voices of men that neither of them recognize, and a familiar French accent. John rests his palm against Alex's cheek, not interrupting as Alex's eyes scan over him. They gloss over, wrinkling slightly with his overjoyed smile. The bathroom door, having been locked, suddenly slams inwards, hitting the wall. French swears mix with heavy crying, Alex rests his forehead on John's an closes his eyes. Neither of them turn to look at Laf and Herc, knowing the sight they'll be met with.

    John ignores the scene playing before them as the paramedics check for a pulse, for breathing, for anything. He places two fingers under Alex's chin, raising his face so they are eye to eye. He leans in and kisses Alex, steadily, tenderly. Slowly around them, the noise fades out until it is replaced with silence. The only thing left is Alex and John, the pure love surrounding them and emanating from their souls as they melt into one. Alex pulls away slowly, somehow realizing where they are without having to look. He raises a hand to run his fingers affectionately through John's hair.

    "I told you we would return to the stars together."

A/N: don't yell at me you guys told me to post it >:)