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Chapter Nine~ Marked Women

I'd hardly been listening to my father's belabored lecture. From the few words I caught, he was hardly aware what he was saying, so I suppose it didn't particularly matter. It was something about how I'd disgraced the family. As if I didn't already know that.

When Dad ran his hand through his stubbly beard with enough ferocity I was surprised it didn't rip from his face, I looked up. Upon seeing his hard, pink eyes I hastened my gaze back to my lap.

"I just don't know what you were thinking," Dad grunted. "I knew you were hardly the model child, but I never thought you'd actually break a law."

"Why is it a law, Dad?" My lips were moving before I knew what I was saying. "Why is it a crime for me to have a relationship out of wedlock, but not for Ander?"

"Because you're a girl, Jean," he retorted.

"Yeah, I know that." I looked up at my father, staring him down. "But can you give me one valid reason why it matters?"

He deliberated for a few seconds, but that pause was enough to give me an answer. He couldn't think of anything. There was no answer, no reason, other than the fact that the Patri or the Father had passed a law years ago.

Finally, Dad shook his head. "I told you I wasn't going to call the Patri. Don't make me go back on my word. I will if you show me you can't repent. If you're not willing to be an asset to Trujohn I'll let the Patri deal with you. Don't think they'd give you a second chance like I am."

I hung my head. The Patri will throw me in prison. If I'm lucky. "You're right. I'm sorry, Sir. Truly. I want nothing more than to please the Father."

"You've already failed to do that," he grumbled. "Now your only hope is not to anger him further."

"Yes, Sir. But, Sir?" I couldn't fathom why he wasn't denouncing me. It might have improved his name once the shame of Elaine's arrest got out. "Are you only showing me mercy because of Elaine's arrest?" Did he feel guilty?

"You will not mention that name so long as you live in my house."

Unless I got a job that offered board, I'd live in his house forever. Women were prevented from owning land. "Yes, Sir."

Dad grunted, turning his back on me. "Don't disappoint me again. Please." He stalked slowly from my room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

I leaned back, flopping upon my mattress. What am I going to do? I wanted nothing more than to converse with my little sister. She'd make some witty comment and tell me to snap out of it. But I couldn't talk to her. Not unless Ander could send her back to me.

It wasn't that I was stupid enough believe Ander could rescue Elaine... but... hope was a fickle thing. I didn't think Ander could save her. But I hoped he did. And that was enough for me to urge him to risk his own life.

Life with my family could never be the same. Not only were we all grieving, but now I needed to suffer alone. No doubt Dad had ordered Donald, John, and Mom to isolate me as his own form of punishment.

I rolled onto my stomach, burying my face in my pillow. When I finally lifted my head I noticed a bundle of black fabric by my bedside. Ander's jacket. I snatched up the coat, holding it to my chest. I recalled tossing it away last night. He must have forgotten it in his haste to leave. I hugged the light jacket tightly, a last memento of the man I'd never see again. There were no other remnants of him, no gifts. I'd been unwilling to risk bringing anything of his into my house, but I wasn't willing to let this bit of clothing go.

An object dug into my stomach, poking out of one of the jacket's large pockets. Curious, I emptied the jacket finding only a scrap of paper and a small book, hardly holding together at all.