Hard to Find

Chapter Twenty One - Letters

"You've never done well with vanilla, Sky. You need someone like Jayden."

I look at her with a wry smile. "So you approve?"

"I never said I didn't approve. He has manners, Dylan has nothing but kind things to say about him, and he seems to treat you well. Aside from how you two met." We both chuckle at the thought, even though I know his reasoning for leaving me that night. "I just want you to be smart, which I know you are. Things may get messy, especially if the hearing doesn't go Jayden's way. I don't want you stuck in his turmoil."

I stare up at the swaying trees while the cool but comfortable breeze dances on my uncovered skin. She is right; I don't know how he will react. As much as I think I know Jayden, I truly don't know him. I guess that will come with time. But it's the stuff he can tell me I want to know: his childhood, his family and sister, how he has a kid, his hobbies...

I think back to what he said, how I am ruining him in every good way possible. I don't think he knows he is doing the same thing to me. I have never been so scared of committing to someone while wanting to give them everything.

And I want to give Jayden everything.

I sit up, place my hand on my sister's stomach, and lean in to whisper. "We won't let you go through boy troubles like this."

Marlee laughs and pats her bump, "If it's a she or a he, they won't be allowed to date until they're eighteen."

"What? No, there is no fun in that!"

"Oh no, no, no. They are not acting the way you did with boys." Her eyes are wide with fear as she shakes her head. But then she slowly looks down and her mouth droops. "I wish they could stay in there forever, where they're safe."

"I know, but they don't know what kind of family they are being born into. They will be one hundred times safer than you think."

And then I think about Ellie, and how unfortunate it has been for her.

***

The next day at work, I walk into my office with the biggest smile. Jayden sent another bouquet with a note explaining how much he misses me. I don't understand how he has time to send them, but the gesture warms my heart. I particularly like how he still signs them with a 'B' for Blondie.

It's only been a day since we've seen each other and I already feel slightly empty. I don't want to become too attached because codependent relationships don't work with me. Then again, seeing him every day wouldn't be a problem.

A coworker I've never seen before knocks on my office door. "Hey, you've got a real admirer there." She nods toward the bouquet, her curly black hair moves with her.

"Yeah, they're from my..." I pause, not knowing what I should call him. "Boyfriend?"

"Is it complicated?"

"Kinda'." I shrug, chuckling. "I'm sorry I didn't get your name..."

"Oh! I'm Anaya, I started working here last week." She extends her hand, revealing her perfectly manicured nails. I envy how well put together she is, she's gorgeous.

"I'm Skylar, it's nice to meet you. How are you liking it here so far?" I invite her to sit on the couch. I don't think I have ever invited a coworker to sit with me, which is sad. But it's time to change, and Anaya seems like a good start.

"Good, actually. I wanted to introduce myself because the word around here is you're the best."

I raise my eyebrows in complete surprise. "People said that?"

"Yes, you never lose clients, you know how to handle them, and you're amazing with kids." I stare in disbelief. I thought I was a fly on the wall. The only person I talk to is my boss and even those conversations are superficial.

"Wow, I'm not much of a talker around here, so I'm surprised they had such nice things to say."

Her smile only rises halfway. "They said that also."

"Well, if you ever need anything I'm here. I'd love to keep talking, but I have a client coming in soon so I have to get some work done."

She stands abruptly, thanking me, and walks to the door. I feel bad for kicking her out so soon, so I call out her name. "Would you wanna come out for coffee with me and my friend Raven sometime?"

This time her smile reaches her eyes. "I'd really like that, thank you."

When she leaves, I sit down at my desk and start my day. 

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Guys I committed to college and found a roommate... i'm so excited. Nursing school here I come!

QOTD: What grade are you in? (if you're comfortable answering.)

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Thanks for reading, xoxo Anna :)