I'm missing church today. And I feel so guilty about it. Especially because I was supposed to play the piano. It was not anything hard or difficult for someone else to take over easily, but still, I feel guilty about not being there. I've been reading a lot lately and hearing people say that Satan can't know your thoughts, he can only know your actions. He cannot know your heart, it is only when you act on your thoughts he knows what direction you're taking. Then how is it I feel so depressed? Isn't that coming from satan? And if not, I guess it comes from me...? And why? Why am I depressed? I feel like I have no purpose. If I could define my purpose I would maybe be happier. How do you define your purpose though? I thought
I had a purpose already, if nothing else, my purpose is to be a mother and wife. A sister. A daughter. But I've always had something I've been working towards. I've always had something to do, a goal to reach. So
Maybe I need to have a goal to work towards daily. I mean, I already have the 500 words a day goal but what else? I don't have anything to look forward to. Maybe that's it. Instead of looking forward to something I've got things I'm dreading. I'm dreading the future. I'm dreading the unknown. I'm dreading what's coming next. This is new for me. I've never dreaded the future before. I think that may be the foundation of all of this.
YOU ARE READING
And yet
Non-FictionLife is a string of events, there never seems to be an end, it's just moving from one thing to the next
