Tetris in Red

35: Tetris in the Studio

He snickers. "Why? You feeling it?"

"Hush," I say as I wiggle my butt slightly, pretending to get comfortable.

He groans. "All right, all right." He throws his head back exasperatedly. "Dropping it until I see them again."

A chuckle escapes me as I lean my head back against his chest. There's a comfortable silence after that. Alec moves the lounge chair close to the soundboard and grabs a sleek iPad. A soft, slow song plays from the speaker as he places it back, his hand now stroking my arm. The time ticks by like that, peaceful and quiet and just us.

No words were spoken between us for a long moment. Not until the song switches for the fourth time and Alec stands up, taking me with him. I don't recognize the song since I'm a Pop and R&B kind of girl. Alec's playlist leans more on soft rock and alternative rock.

I chuckle as he places my hands on his shoulders, his own on either side of my waist. Then we start to sway and I can't help the laugh bubbling out of me. "Now, what are we doing?"

He shrugs, giving me a smirk. "Being that mushy couple we both hated."

I slap his arm lightly.  "Shut up."

My shoulders are still vibrating with laughter when I placed my head against his chest. The song has already reached its chorus as I try to hum in tune with the music. The singer talks about how everyone, even himself, thinks their love is not right, and how he still wants to make it work anyway. I see now why Alec wants us to dance to this.

It perfectly suits what we're going through.

A sigh leaves me as I close my eyes. I don't want to think about it anymore. "Tell me something."

"Hmm?"

"When did you discover you want to be the most coveted rockstar?"

He laughs. "I didn't want to be until you mentioned it."

"Har."

His arms encircle my waist as he rests his chin on top of my head. The song changes again, but we continue swaying slowly, not minding that this song is faster than the last one. "My dad was the one who introduced me to music. We had vinyl records of Guns N' Roses, The Beatles, Queen, The Rolling Stones... you name it. We all have it. He played them on rotation from day 'til night. You'll immediately know Dad isn't home when the house is silent.

"When he isn't playing them, we'd sit on our porch with his guitar on hand. He'd teach me how to play and we'd sing together every night before bed. And I just... fell in love with music from then."

"Does your dad have a band of his own too?"

I feel him shake his head. "No. He loves music, but it's not something he wants to do. It's more of a break for him than anything."

"And you do?"

When he speaks, his tone is soft. "I knew I wanted this since I've gotten my first guitar."

"But does it get too much?" I lift my head to look at him. "Everything that comes with your fame? Everything they say outside your music?"

He swallows, something I can't discern displaying across his face. He looks away, our swaying halts. The song in the background turning into angry, fast drumbeats and growls of indecipherable words.

"Everything comes with a price, doesn't it?" He turns his attention back to me, a faint smile on his face. Something in the way he says it makes my pulse thud violently under my skin. "You just have to figure out what you need to tune out."

I find myself searching for something in his eyes. The way he says it, the way he smiles at me, it feels like a warning. A warning that is not welcome. "I guess you're used to it."

"I have to. Or they'll eat me alive."

I nod, looking away. "Must've been a joy."

"It gets too much," he begins and steps away from me. He turns off the music. Silence ensues and I can hear my own quick heartbeat in my ears. "Sometimes you just want to disappear, sometimes you're going to want to reinvent yourself to live up to what they want you to be. Sometimes you'll want to scream at them and tell them to fuck off. Sometimes it'll get too much that you'll feel the need to justify yourself. Then the cycle will start all over again. All you can do is pray that someone else will fuck up the next morning."

I bite my lip and look back at Alec. He's staring at me so intently I feel my cheeks heat. I can only imagine how palpable the sudden fear and uneasiness I'm feeling. "I'm scared to search my name and see what they are saying about me, you know. You haven't confirmed any rumors."

Something akin to relief flashes through his eyes. But I can't be sure as it passes by so swiftly when he smiles reassuringly at me. "Keep it that way, love. But do you want to? Tell everyone we are together?"

I shake my head vigorously. "God, no. Not yet. Let's enjoy what we have for a few days then we'll figure it out."

Alec nods. "Copy that, love."

We stare at each other and I just relish it.

His eyes, his warmth, his words, everything.

Because I know deep in my gut, that he's the only one I'll cling to when this everything went south.

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