Stepping Out

Is that a problem?

"Yeah, just wait until he gets to know you, he'll leave right after," Hunter explains, I didn't know what he was implying, but I am sure it wasn't just the words he said.

Oh, now I get it. Getting to know me, not like the things I like, but the more gross stuff, if you know what I mean.

"Okay, first, ewww, and second, I wouldn't get that far. Why do you care? You lost your right to care for me when we were kids," I raise my voice. But I bring myself back down, my therapist said that big arguments could trigger the nightmares.

That's one thing I don't want. They would always wake me up in a cold sweat and I wouldn't be able to eat or sleep after. They were always the one thing that kept coming back. I wanted them to stay away.

"Just," he took a step closer and grabbed my wrists, "be careful. I wasn't there when you needed me, only for reasons you have not told me yet, I will be here for you whenever you need me. Anytime, just call." He stares into my eyes and waits for an answer.

I give him one, I give him a small nod and take out my phone, giving it to him to put his phone number in. He takes a weird picture of himself and it makes me laugh. For once, I have laughed and actually felt like, this was how normal 19-year-old girls are supposed to act.

I felt normal.

I took his phone from his pocket and took a nice selfie with a puppy with glasses filter. My favorite. I put my number in and we just stood there, staring into each other's eyes as we both think of what to say.

"I'll see you in class tomorrow, and don't ruin my before practicing session," I pleaded. I think now, is when he will finally listen.

"Yeah, but don't think I won't come and watch." He winked and walked toward the front door. Once it was closed, I felt a smile creep up from my lips. I was smiling, and I actually felt happy, I felt no sadness and I felt no emptiness inside. I just hope this isn't temporary.

I walk to the kitchen in an attempt to cook something. I think it will really help with my cooking problems. Plus I also want to bring in some healthy treats for everyone. We have been working so hard for comp season and I think we can win this year. Like we do every year.

That is because we have Mr.Hammon, he is one of the best choreographers, he wanted to come back to his hometown and relax, but he couldn't do that. Lucky for us, he wanted to keep choreographing. But to thank him, I am going to make him some healthy cookies or something.

I just want to keep my mind off of my parents and everything else. So I get to work. I get the sugar, flour, eggs, milk, and everything else I need to make cookies. I am going to make oatmeal raisin cookies. They are high in fiber and calories for us growing kids to get to work and have more energy.

2 hours later, I have made 3 dozen cookies that look absolutely perfect. But the real test is, do they taste good? I took a small one and took a small bite from it. I chewed and swallowed, waiting for the burnt crunch to sound in my mouth. But, none came. It was actually very soft and melted on my tongue. I closed my eyes and groaned. I picked up my phone to call someone about how good I did but, who would I call? Who would even be interested in being my friend?

No one wants to be friends with the girl with dead parents. It'll look bad on them, like they are pitying me, only to be popular. But they never did get what they wanted. I wasn't popular, so they just stopped talking to me, stopped messaging me, and would call me names.

I had a lot to tell my therapist, we were very close over the years. She would always look forward to our sessions and to have an actual conversation. Instead of and how do you feel about that? Or, Tell me more, I want to know how you feel. All that crazy sh*t.

Anyway, I think I have found my favorite hobby, baking! I mean, maybe. I am still not good at cooking things like eggs or turkeys so, I am going to keep it on the back burner until I am sure.

I wrap the cookies in parchment paper and put them in a tin from the cupboard and close the top. I walk over to my bag and grab the CD from my dancing session with Cole. The security team always gets me a copy of my dance session from the security cameras.

Only because I used to babysit their daughters. I still do, but not as often, only when they are grounded or cannot be trusted. I like doing it, they are awesome, and they have a ping pong table, in which I win every time.

I put the CD in the CD player under my tv and press play. I sit down with a pen and paper and write down everything I need to work on, as well as Cole. It doesn't take me long, I have to be bigger with my moves and Cole needs to work on his levels. These need to be fixed as soon as possible because then we get into the habit and then it will be even harder to fix later.

But I guess I will have to fix it tomorrow. Because I am wiped out from emailing teachers about homework, baking, and looking over Cole and his amateur mistakes. I go to bed early, granted it is 9:30, but for me it's early. I plug my headphones in and put on my dance playlist for class. It helps me with remembering dances.

This gets me tired and I end up drifting off to sleep, the only place I can actually get some peace. But that gets interrupted a lot with nightmares. I hope I won't get any tonight. I need my sleep and staying up all night shaking and sweating is not something I want to do.

A/N- hey guys, this is an early release because I am spending time with my family and I don't want to waste any time with technology. So, have a Merry Christmas!!!

P.S. Sorry it is so short. I honestly am not keeping track of the numbers anymore. I'll see you next Saturday!!