Oops (A phanfic)

Please be okay (Dan's P.O.V)

I'm sitting in the ambulance next to Phil. The paramedics are doing their best to keep him alive. I'm still crying, of course, the tears won't stop but I feel less sad and more depressed. It's like one of my episodes but I don't feel as numb. I'm angry, angry at the police for not protecting Phil and for not shooting the man earlier, I'm angry at the burglar for hurting and almost killing Phi, I was angry at him for scarring precious Phil, for robbing him, for picking him instead of someone else. I know that sounds terrible but Phil is just too special to me and everyone else.

Who I was most angry at is myself, I was angry that I couldn't protect him, for making him go out instead of myself, I could have just as easily gotten the marshmallows in my pajamas. I repressed my feelings and focused on Phil, my beautiful, creative, perfect Phil. His face was covered in bruises, he had a black left eye, his right cheek was bruised. There were small cuts all over his face and upper body, there was a small one on the left side of his chin, two long but shallow cuts above each eyebrow. Blood was pouring down the right side of his face into his eyes and onto his bruise. Blood was coming out of the sides of his mouth in thin strands that held a steady flow. The crimson metal liquor liquid stained the stretcher beneath him as his neck bled profusely. It smelled terrible.

One of the parametric's looked up from the machines at me. "Your boyfriend's going to be ok, don't worry" I immediately flushed at her words but nodded in appreciation. They need to pay attention to Phil, not me. Help him not me.

~Timeskipadidoda~

Eventually, we made it to the hospital and they rushed Phil in being careful of bumps as to not injure him further or cause him any more pain. I was trying to follow him but one of the nurses broke off from the group and stood in front of me.
"I'm sorry sir, you can not go into that section of the hospital but I-" she didn't even get to finish her sentence before I'm rushing towards Phil again. I was about to run through the restricted access doors when two security guards tackled me from opposite directions. Since when do hospitals have security guards?!? I think while being dragged away.

I'm not going without a fight, I start struggling against them wiggling and wreathing kicking their chins. I guess it's all the exercise and adrenaline running through my veins that cause the realization of everything that's happened today to hit me like a brick wall. I shattered, I was already broken from seeing Phil like that but realizing I might not ever see Phil's beautiful eyes ever again made my heart shatter into millions of pieces like glass.

I started hysterically sobbing and give up fighting against the guards, I slump down miserably and wait to be tossed out. They bring me about 15 feet away from the doors and let go expecting me to stay standing but instead my legs give out and I collapse. I'm on my knees, bent over so my forehead touches the cold concrete. The street lamps lining the entrance only remind me of Phil's scared and beat up figure.

The force of the sobs that raked through my curled up body make me shake violently, I crave death but I must see Phil alive first.
One of the security guards bent down and rested his hand on the small of my back
"You can come inside with us if you promise not to run into the ICU again. If you run again you won't be allowed inside." He said in a soothing voice. Not trusting my voice I just nod and try to get up but my legs are wobbly and I immediately fall again, the security guard fails to catch me and my knees hit the ground hard scuffing up my D&P pajamas.

I am ready to pathetically crawl to Phil if I have to, I will throw my pride away for him, anything. I'm mid crawl when the security guard he talked to me earlier picks me up by the armpits and sets me back down on my feet. I rush back into the hospital with the security railing close behind. I run through the labyrinth of whitewash halls trying to remember which way I was dragged until one of the security guards stops me by grabbing my (small) bicep.

"You're going the wrong way, we'll show you where to go," he tells me then let's go and gestures for me to follow him and the other guard. They lead me through a series of halls but they're all the same to me, blank walls, nothing decorated anywhere, the smell of bleach and death surrounds me. We turn left and I recognize the double doors of the ICU. I sprint to the doors but stop just short of going in, I stare for a couple of seconds then move to the side and ploop down criss-cross apple sauce. There's a fire alarm pull right above my head so if I straighten my poster I'd hit it. Therefore I just stay hunched over waiting anxiously for Phil to be rolled out of those damned doors. Eventually, my back starts to strain so I lay down making sure I'm not in the way.

***Time skip brought to you by Dan saying "oh, dear"***

Four hours later Phil still hasn't been rolled out and I was fighting consciousness. My eyelids were heavy and slowly closing but every time I forced them open. I tried getting up and moving around but the exercise only made me even more tired. I sit back down mentally and physically exhausted. I still felt so much anger towards everyone, every single person except Phil, I only felt love for him. I always felt admiration and friendship with love towards him, he is my best friend and idol. Lately, I've started feeling more romantic and sexual love. I don't know why but it started about five months ago during the spooky week. I start to think of his beautiful deep blue-green eyes. My mind wanders as I think about Phil. A long, annoying, steady tone could be heard through the double doors. My heart begins to race, was that Phil's machine?!? What's happening?! I'm tempted to just run into the ICU but I remember the guard's strict warnings.

I was fully awake now. A doctor came by and I practically jump him "Do you know what happened? Do you know who it is?" I screamed, Phil had to be alright. The doctor just ignored me and rushed through the doors. I began hyperventilating, my chest feels like it's being crushed underneath a weight, my throat closing in. The tears come back at full force, flowing down my face. I sit down trying to stop the panic attack but it just wouldn't go away. My vision turned blurry and dots danced around. Black wisps came slowly into my vision blocking my peripheral vision. Suddenly I'm on the ground when my vision goes completely black and I pass out.