The Coalition (Book 1)

Chapter 43

Breakfast was awkward as Shai sat at a long table in the Dining Room, slowly stirring a steaming bowl of oats and cream. Ava's bowl sat beside her untouched, her father's needs coming before her own. Kael's dark head bent over his breakfast across from Shai. His eyes never quite met hers every time she stole a glance in his direction.

"Want to talk about last night?" He spoke into his bowl making his voice sound as thick as the porridge he hunched over.

"There's nothing to say." Shai continued to stir the cream in her bowl, staring but not really seeing.

Kael dropped his spoon on the table, the loud clang startled Shai. "Nothing to say? C'mon Shai. I'm not stupid. I know about your friend Ace. Don't forget I studied the Division history. I know who he is." He looked at her with fury.

"No, Kael. You don't know anything at all." Shai pushed back her chair and took her half-eaten breakfast to the sink. She felt Kael's eyes on her.

"I know more than you think. I know you're running. Away from everything you were taught to believe. Away from that guy who thinks he owns you."

Shai laughed. "That's what you think I'm doing?" She wiped her hands on a towel. "Well, you're half right. I am running. Running from being chosen to be the mother of the next Leader. Running from a life in Lael, which isn't a life at all." She twisted the towel in her hands until her knuckles turned white. She'd never admitted it before-- the deep dissatisfaction with her life and the yearning for something more. She'd often felt it, but crammed it down, shoved it deep inside until only an achy-numbness remained.

Kael walked over to her, took the towel from her, and held her hands in his. Their warmth comforted her, but also unnerved her.

He whistled softly. "Wow. I didn't know that. I'm sorry." The softness in his voice hurt. She didn't have the energy to sort through emotions she'd avoided feeling her whole life. Anger was less complicated and fear was familiar. This feeling in her stomach was different. It frightened her. Made her feel like a sleeping giant was lying coiled up inside her. If it woke up she feared she'd never be able to control it.

Kael put his hands on either side of her face. The intimacy of his touch sent waves of heat racing down her back and into her toes. She resisted the impulse to pull away.

"Kael, I..." She started, but he slid his thumb over her lips.

"Shai, I know about you too. Where you're from. I know that Lael teaches you to believe that you won't be accepted until you've kept every Law and Rule. I've studied the Laelite ways. I can even say I understand it, sort of." He moved his thumb from her mouth to gently touch the tiny wound on her throat. "But what you believe doesn't change what I believe."

Shai's face flamed. Her legs threatened to buckle. "What do you believe?" She whispered.

"I believe that one day you'll trust what you feel right now." He moved closer. His mouth was suddenly against her neck, then along her collar bone. His hands on the back of her head and lacing up through her hair, pulling her gently towards him. His chest against hers. Her heart beating with his. His mouth worked its way up to her ear, each warm exhale made tiny shivers run up and down her arms.

When his lips touched her cheek she moved her hands around to his back without thinking. Her fingers curled into his shirt, her knuckles pressing against the hard knot of his back muscles. She breathed through slightly parted lips, the smell of his skin and hair made her too light-headed.

His mouth was at the corner of hers, sharing her air. And then his lips met hers. Soft and sticky-sweet. The room spun and she closed her eyes. She moved her trembling hands from his back to his chest, felt his heart beating, almost as fast as hers. Felt him inhale. Felt the sleeping giant open one eye. Oh no. Stop!

She pushed Kael lightly at first, then with a sudden urgency. He broke away and she opened her eyes. Their hands still on each other. He smiled and she stared at his mouth, not believing what had just happened.

"Um. Wow, I don't uh... you've never been kissed have you?" He sounded breathless.

She licked her lips, but the feeling of his mouth on hers remained.

The sound of someone coming into the kitchen made them leap apart.

"Oh. I hope I didn't interrupt anything." Ava's face looked flushed, her eyes red-rimmed and bright. "Ace asked me to give this to you, Shai. He's waiting to see you. He won't leave until he does apparently." She dropped something on the table then turned to go.

"Ava!" Kael called out and started after his sister. "Wait! You... didn't eat. It's getting cold."

"I'm not hungry." The sound of her retreating footsteps echoed down the hall. Shai wondered how she had never heard Ava approaching.

Kael stood silent near the door of the kitchen for a moment then turned around. "Shai, I have to go talk to her. I'll see you later."

When he'd gone she picked up what Ava left on the table: a silver chain attached to a slender, silver tube. Eliana's pendant. Holding her breath, she pushed the cap off. The pale yellow grains of Eliana's Essence were still there.

Her head seemed too heavy for her shoulders. She leaned against a chair and exhaled sharply, waiting until the room stopped spinning. Eliana was still alive and Aliah had come here to let her know. He'd been wanting to see her to tell her that and all this time she'd avoided him because she suspected him of having ulterior motives. I have to thank him.

She returned to the bedroom and pushed her few belongings into a linen bag she'd found. She slung the long handle across her chest and let the bag hang against her left hip.

She held Eliana's pendant in front of the bedroom window, the sun glinted off the pale stone on the front, so similar to her own. She put it around her neck with trembling hands. She knew that by doing so she'd become responsible for Eliana's life.

She stepped into the hall and suddenly felt strange. She was torn. She felt alive with Kael's touch and didn't want to leave, but she also knew it wasn't safe to stay here. She forced her feet to move through the hall and out the front door. Voices coming from the side of the house gave her pause.

"I don't care, Kael! You can't tell me not to get involved with him then go and kiss her!" Ava sounded frustrated and angry. Shai's heart hammered. The 'him' could only be Aliah. Her mouth went dry. Kael mumbled something in response. "Well if they're so dangerous why'd you do it?" Ava's voice rose higher and louder with each word. Footsteps sounded, coming closer. Shai hurried away.

"I have a plan, Ava. Trust me!" The ice in Kael's voice made Shai sick. Kissing her was part of his plan? I should never have let him touch me.

The memory of his kiss burned her cheeks.

She began to run. The pendant bounced against her chest, keeping time with her heartbeats. Reminding her that not everything Lael believed was wrong.