Bepannah | Jenshad

Falling Deeper |Chapter 20

Traditional dresses has been something Jennifer was never comfortable in. It will be quite unbelievable to know since she has wore a lot of them in serials, but all the heavy lehengas, the restricting cholis and dupatta ;especially the dupatta is a lot to carry on, to always roam with it, minding it not to get stuck in something. And even the saree, although she looks more slimmer, curvy at the right places and beautiful in it, it's still a lot of work for sure.

She loves wearing flowy dresses, be it long silky gowns, nighties or straight up jeans and top. These are her comfort wear. She feels like she can move freely, without keeping in mind and always checking the dress when she wears them. And she curses, definitely feeling it right now as she removes the choli, more like trying to remove one.

It's been a wild day she thinks, looking at herself in the mirror as she reaches behind the choli after have managed to get out of the dupatta, that was pinned up in multiple places to not fall down from her body. She is bend in all different angles, cursing her lack of exercise as of lately as her elbows pain and her muscles are having hard time breathing.

With a lot of effort she manages to remove it, quickly discarding it aside before getting out of the overly weight lehenga. She quickly cleans up, washes her face before wearing new pieces of lingerie and pulls over her satin white nightie.

She checks herself in the mirror, her eyes wandering to the faint red lines on her thighs, peeking slightly from under her nightie. Tucking her lip in between her teeth, eyes stuck on her own reflection in the mirror she slowly moves her fingers over the peeking marks with a fatherly touch as her heart pains at her used skin and body.

Shuddering she blinks, tears falling down her lashes as they always does she quickly pulls down the material covering her past carefully, although she knows it's never going to leave her.

She moves taking a look at her as Harshad's face come infront of her and a smile forms on her lips as she closes her eyes remembering every inch of his face. She feels happy, feels grateful she was able to see him from so close, see all those curves and bends of his face, those lines on his forehead, that dimple in his right cheek always melting her heart and those red lips of his.

Her heart races as she feels his red lis as they moved along hers. Her fingers touching her lips unconsciously as she could feel him on her, under her and she can't believe he kissed her. Not once, not out of the blue. He kissed her intentionally, grabbed her slamming her on the wall not carrying about the consequences he kissed her.

And it's wrong

It's so so wrong because he is not hers. He is not hers and probably will never be. Because he is taken and has a life where she doesn't belong, which she left all those years ago and that she will have to leave. Because girls like her can never have guys like him.

Because she is a damaged person and he deserves the best. He deserves everything and although, he has done wrong by her, has made mistakes but the love she had for him never faded away. The feeling he rose inside her, that started as an infatuation, building up to something more, so much more that it crushed her, broke her heart and shot her all hopes when he introduced her to Alia as his girlfriend.

She knew it then she was falling for him.

And the kiss in the balcony, the feel of him on her, the scent with which she slept at night made it sure that she will fall in love with him for sure.

That it is inevitable.

And that's wrong because she knows she will only be heartbroken once again. She will only be the one to leave alone with a broken heart and lost hope once again. She will only have to leave with this pain inside her knowing and looking at the wonderful future he will have, with his girlfriend.