Beyoncé's house, Manhattan
"How do you feel now today is your last day as a single woman?" My best friend Tiddo asked as drank beer while waiting for others to arrive
I shrugged, "in my mind I haven't been single for a while"
"Yeah cause Fifi got you hooked Maine!" He chuckled. I laughed with him.
"You're still not over her, are you?" He asked seriously after a second of silence.
I already knew who he was talking about.
"A small part of me still thinks about her. About what could've been. I don't think I'll ever forget her Tee" I said to him honestly
He nodded in understanding, "I know fam"
"But I also know that you deserve Fiona, she understands you" he said
I couldn't deny that. I don't know a lot of women that would be okay with their partner still mourning their dead girlfriends after 7 years.
She really is special.
The rest of my friends arrived within a space of an hour. My bachelor party was promised to be epic.
I was a bit skeptical about it. Honesty, I wanted a quiet evening to myself. Maybe watch a basketball match while drinking beer.
But a part of me also didn't want think about how much I missed Robyn more now than any other time.
I wish she would've just given me more time.
The club was booming by the time we arrived. A naked girl holding a tray filled with glasses of alcohol passed me giving me a flirtatious wink.
We order alcohol and strippers took notice of our table.
The guys had big breasts on their faces and enjoying themselves while I declined a dance and let my eyes wonder
I was bored.
I found myself driving to the cemetery. I still knew where she was laid by heart.
I walked in the cemetery, avoiding to look at the headstones around me.
I hated this place but I just needed to talk to her.
I found her white tombstone that had her name engraved on it.
It saddened me that it was so plain.
Robyn Lilly Fenty
2 March 1996 - 3 December 2014
Was all it said. She was buried next to her father.
I sat in silence for a while. Trying to form a sentence to speak. I found myself speechless though.
The pain in my chest throbbed when i ran my index finger on the tombstone. The coldness reminded me of how much time I used to sit here.
Hoping she would reappear. Even if I was hallucinating. Just to had to feel her presence with me again.
"Why Rob?" A sob that came out of nowhere jumped out of me
My chest clenched with unbearable pain. Similar to the one I felt 7 years ago.
"H... how could... you... leave me?" I sobbed In between words.
I tried to calm myself so i could speak to her.
"I thought... I thought you at least cared about how I feel. How much i loved you." I said wiping the tears that feel uncontrollably
"I just wanted to be there for you Robby. I wanted to be your everything. You just needed to give me a little bit more time. I just needed you to hold on for me baby" I said before crying again.
I felt as broken as I did seven years ago when I got the call.
I was supposed to be healing or have healed but i felt too empty without her.
She was the love of my life.
