Knowles Residence
7 years later...
Dear BeyBey,
I don't know what i wanted to say when I wrote this but I knew I had to leave you something.
This isn't how I wished things would turn out. I had hoped for the longest time that things would change for me. I hoped to finally find the light at the end of the tunnel.
But my tunnel is never ending Bey, I'm always in pain.
You will never understand why I had to do it. Why I had to leave you. I know you probably will be angry with me and you probably will feel sad for me, for us.
I know you may even hate me for it. But I don't blame you. I understand.
But please try to understand too, I want the pain to stop. It won't stop hurting.
I hope you're not the one who will find my body. I don't wish for that to be your last memory of me.
I wish you would instead remember all the good times we shared. All the laughs and giggles. All the kisses and intimate moments.
I wish you would understand that this isn't about my love for you, I didn't do it because I don't love you.
I did it because I couldn't stand what I am doing to you. You're so beautiful baby. You're so perfect
The love you have shown me for the past two years has been so overwhelmingly beautiful. No one could've possibly give me that but you.
But I realized that you don't deserve to be stuck with someone as broken as I am.
I know you don't see that way Bey, I know you will be mad at me for even feeling this way but this is the truth.
You'll never grow as long as you're with me. You'll never be the best version of yourself and that is all I've ever wanted for you.
I'll admit that you've grown since we've met, you're not that same ignorant and arrogant asshole you were. At least with me you're not.
And I believe you'll grow even more from this point forward.
I don't want you to put your life on hold for me. I want you continue to live and be ambitious and passionate and loving. I want you to live Bey. Please, for me.
Live a full life and love as best as you possibly can.
When you meet that girl, don't hesitate to love her and show her the Beyoncé that I fell in love with.
I'm so sorry to do this to you baby. I'm so sorry to hurt you. I just can't continue with this life anymore.
Maybe, one day, in another life, we will meet again and I'll be stronger for you.
Love,
Robyn.
A small tear trailed down out of my eye and down my cheek.
Seven years later, It still hurts. Losing her was the most painful thing I've endured in my life.
Although I've learned to accept it, I still couldn't understand. I still regretted not doing more for her.
A knock on the interrupted my thoughts. I folded the hand written letter and put in my pocket before I opened the door and found my fiancé standing there
"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt. I just bought you food. I know food is the last thing on your mind today" she said with a plate of home made food on her hand. I smiled at her thankfully before taking it.
"Thank you. And I'm sorry I'm so... distracted today. We can do cake tasting tomorrow, I promise." I said
She sighed then pecked me softly.
She knew about Robyn. She knew about how much I loved her and still do. She knew she would have to accept it if she wanted me.
Fiona and I met about 3 years ago at the children's hospital that I work at. It was the first time I found myself attracted to anyone after Rob.
"I'll be in our room when you're ready. Please let me comfort you" she said softly against my lips.
I pulled her in and kissed her gently.
I sighed when she pulled from the soft kiss then left me.
"I would've loved you through it all Robs, you didn't have to leave me" I said to no one.
