Under the Blood Moon~ The Guild Leader Chronicles Book Two (COMPLETE)

Chapter Thirteen

Like always, Hope just stares down at the floor. Nikiya nods her head, giving Hope a sad look. "What do you want?" I spit at her. I don't mean to sound so rude to everyone other than Hope, I just can't help it. It's all the shame and guilt I'm feeling being funneled into one feeling. Rage.

Nikiya snaps her head around to me and tilts her head to one side. "I was wanting to know if you want to go outside? Maybe get some fresh air?"

I give her a hard look. "I think we're okay. Right, Hope?" I ask her looking away from Nikiya.

Hope nods her head, keeping her eyes on the floor.

I look back over to Nikiya and shrug my shoulders. "We're fine."

Nikiya opens the door behind her, not turning to look as she does it. When the door is fully opened behind her, I give her a look. She lets out a sigh, and says, "It's really nice out, Your Maje-"

I come out of my chair, and fly across the desk at her. "Do not call me that!" I scream at her as I grab hold of her long dark brown hair. I grip it tightly, and throw her out of my office, stalking after her. Cauis and Miles come out of their protective chairs, and take a step away from my sudden appearance. I look around the room, seeing the whole pack sitting in the living room. I stand straight, and give each of them a hard look. "No one is to ever call me Your Majesty again. Is that understood?" I yell at them. My eyes settle on Septimus for just a second before Luke flashes over to Nikiya, helping her to her feet. She straightens her shirt over her growing stomach, making me feel even worse for treating my best friend like that while she's pregnant. "I'm sorry, Nikiya." I say quietly to her, and turn back to my office.

"Esmerelda, wait!" I hear Cauis say to my left. "Leave us." He orders to the group. I look back into my office, seeing Hope's wide eyes. She's never seen me angry like this before. No one has. This isn't me, but I guess it is now.

"Give me a minute," I say to her softly, and close the door. I turn to Cauis, hating the look he always has on his face now. His eyes are always sad, like my own, and his hair hasn't been combed in days, just like mine. I shower twice a day now, desperate to feel clean, but never succeeding. I never brush my hair, just letting it air dry. I can't bring myself to do anything with myself. I just feel dead inside. "What?" I snap at him.

His face falls at my tone. He takes a step forward, and I step away automatically. "Please," he says quietly as he stops walking forward, "let me help you."

I clinch my jaw and spit at him through my teeth, "You can't help me, Cauis!" I ball my hands into fists, making my nails dig into my palm. Feeling pain is better than how I feel right now.

He drops his head, making me hate myself even more. I just can't calm this rage inside of me. Cauis closes his eyes, and drops his shoulders. "Please," he breathes.

I shake my head and grunt at him. "What is your plan here, Cauis? What do you think will make me feel better? Forcing me to talk about it? Or how about holding me? I don't want you to touch me. Ever. And I sure as hell will not talk about it. Just leave Hope and I alone. You've done enough."

Cauis snaps his head up at me, and swallows hard. He bites down hard on his bottom lip, forcing himself not to say anything. He nods his head at me after a moment, and sighs. There is nothing he can do or say that I don't already know. Nothing will help.

I turn back around, and throw my office door open. I step in, seeing Hope reoccupying her chair, and slam the door behind me. Hope doesn't look over at me as I walk in. My breathing is rapid as I walk around my desk, and take my seat. Hope looks over the desk as me, and at the same time, we begin to scream.