Our Perfect Ending

The Funeral

Today it really hit me. It really hit me that Sam's dead. She left me to go live with the angels.

I had no motivation to get up today, none at all. But I knew I had to. I wasn't going to miss her funeral.

I put on my black skinny jeans, and a black t-shirt. I put on a black blazer over that and slid my converse on. People are probably going to be dressed a lot nicer then me, but I think this is what she would've wanted me to wear.

I slid on the friendship bracelet she'd given me a few years back. I never really wore it, not because I was afraid to, it was just because of Addison. I grabbed the picture of us to have buried with her and then her all time favorite album by Pierce the Veil. I also grabbed a pair of earbuds, because she couldn't live without them.

My mom was in a black dress and I could see the tears in her eyes. Samantha was like a daughter to my mom. If I wasn't around, she'd hang out with my mom. They were very close, but not as close as me and her were.

My mom had actually organized everything for the funeral. Sam's parents went to some country on vacation and they didn't give a shit anyway.

My mom and I picked up Jake so we could take him to the wake. This would be the last I'd ever see her.

Once we arrived at the church, I looked at everyone here. Half these people never gave a shit about Sammy. I didn't know why the hell they were here. But they were and they were mourning over her death and crying like they've known her forever and they've been friends with her. No. They haven't. Half these people fucking bullied Sam.

I typed out some more words in my speech for Sam. I watched as everyone visited her pale body. I haven't been over to her casket yet. I wanted to be the last person she sees.

Everyone left. I took this as my chance to talk to her. I grabbed a chair and sat down by her. I stared at her for a few moments. She looked so at peace. Like this was meant for her. Her nails had been freshly painted, black of course. Her favorite color. She had a short black dress on. Not like a clubbing dress but like a formal dress. The necklace I had given her when we were in sixth grade was around her bruised neck. My mom must've found it in her pocket or something. Sam always had it by her side. She had her bracelet on. Just one, so you could see the scars on her wrist that go very far up her arm. "Sam." I said quietly. "I'm going to miss you. A lot. And I can't wait for the day when I get to see you again. This last year of high school, this is going to be the toughest. You promised you would graduate. All the times you said you wanted to drop out I was there, and I kept pushing you because I knew you could do it. So now, I'll stand alone on graduation day. But that's not all you'll miss. You'll miss our wedding, and the kids we could've had." I wiped my eyes. "I know you'll still be up there looking down on me, Sam. And soon I'll be there with you too."

I stood up and kissed her forehead. I rested her arms across her body then turned around to see my mom in the doorway. "Ready?" I shook my head. "Five minutes." I said to her and she nodded slowly. "I brought you a picture of us. So I could be buried with you." I put it in her hands. "Your favorite Pierce the Veil album, and your earbuds because I know you can't live without either of these things." I looked at her. She's so beautiful. God I screwed up. How could I have dated Addison? If I would've chose Sam, she would still be here. I wanna punch myself in the face. "Come on Bryce..we gotta go." My mom said walking into the room again. I looked at Samantha one more time, "I love you." I whispered.

The casket was closed when we got to the cemetery. Flowers, white flowers were placed on top. Samantha hated flowers. She only liked cherry blossoms for some reason. She had always found them interesting.

"Now we have Bryce up to the podium to speak." I stood up and slowly walked over. "Good afternoon." I said into the microphone. "Samantha Keller. There's so much I can say about this amazing girl. I become very close to her the summer going into seventh grade." I looked out into the crowd and saw everyone. Half these people Samantha hated. "Samantha was always a troubled girl. Bullied by peers, depression, but I won't go too far into that because it's for me to know and for you bastards to wonder." I smirked a bit. "Samantha easily trusted back in middle school. She trusted so easily, to only have her heart broken every damn time. Samantha never deserved any of it. If half the people here knew Sam the way I did, you would actually be mourning over her death. Not just faking it and acting like you've been friends with her. Samantha never had anyone but me. Which is quite interesting honestly. You would've thought she had more people to support her, because she supported everyone. Samantha felt bad for things she never did, or never meant to happen. Things that happened to other people that didn't even involve her. But none of you would know that. Why? Because you bullied her, and you treated her like shit. You thought she was just this quiet, awkward girl."

Everyone looked at me and they seemed shocked. "But as I mentioned before, if you got to know Samantha the way I did, you would know that she was not quiet. Awkward? Yes." I said laughing a little and looked toward the casket. "Samantha was one of the loudest people I had ever met. Yes, she's shy, but if she was out if school, she would act totally different. She would be herself. Samantha was funny, but a cheesy kind of funny. A lame funny, sometimes you would just have to laugh because she tried. She tried so hard to make other people happy, because that's what she always wanted. She wanted to see people happy. She wanted people to have what she couldn't, and that was happiness. Along with being a cheesy kind of funny, Sam was also kind, intelligent, caring, and beautiful. There are so many ways I could describe Samantha but they just wouldn't do her justice. You would just have to get to know her and see what I mean. Oh..wait it's a little to late for that isn't it?"

My snarky tone surprised everyone. "Peers who went to school with Samantha and I, this message is directed right at you. You've never cared about Samantha. Never. And you know it's true. Don't you dare try to fight me. You heard that Samantha was dead and thought you would come to her funeral because you wanted to. To show that you quote on quote care about her death. But you don't. And you never will. I hope I can make you all feel guilty about the way you treated Samantha."

There was nothing else I could say. I didn't know what else I could say. I looked at my mom and I couldn't tell if she was mad about some of what I had said. She gave me a small smile. "So, may my Samantha rest in peace." I stepped off the podium.

They lowered her casket into the ground and that was it.

My mom and everyone had already left. I just sat there, under the tree. Sam was buried right under a tree. Ironic.

I just sat there until it started to get dark. I didn't say anything, I didn't do anything. I just sat against the tree trunk. My mom called at seven asking when I'd be home. I just hung up on her. "Goodnight Sammy." I said quietly. I started to walk home and then it began to rain. I shrugged my shoulders and walked even slower. Cars honked at me as walked along busy roads and I just flipped them off. A car pulled over as I walked. I looked into the window and it rolled down. "Bryce what are you doing?" Addison asked me.
"Leave me alone." I muttered harshly.
"Get in."
"No."
"Bryce get in the fucking car." I kept walking and she drove right next to me.
"Addison leave." I said as I became closer to my house.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I love you." I began to laugh and continued walked. "Bryce."
"Oh, sure you love me. I totally believe you." I rolled my eyes. Addison pulled into my driveway. "Just leave!" I said. "What do you want from me?"
"Bryce, just listen. Please."
"No Addison." She got out of her car.
"Please."
"I was just at my best friend's fucking funeral, Addison. I don't want to hear it." I said walking toward my house. She spun me around and kissed me. It felt so wrong. Why the fuck was she doing this? I pulled away from her.
"Listen to me." I shook my head and wouldn't let myself believe what I was doing. I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside the house. "Talk."