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six words - d.h

"Y/N, Y/N, wait up! You're here!" Shayne said as he tries to catch up with me, "Damien has been looking for you."

"You found me," I said, not looking at him, "I left for a reason. You shouldn't have followed me here."

"But, Damien's fucked up. He needs you."

"Shayne, call me selfish but I am not coming back. I am not going back to LA. I'm good here in Oregon, I'm not leaving."

"Why? Why not? Don't you love Damien anymore?"

"It's hard to explain it. It's hard to say no when someone kneels in front of you and asks your hand in marriage in front of hundreds of people. But I do regret what I did. I didn't mean to-"

"Leave him?" Shayne asks.

"No. I didn't mean to say yes."

The silence between us is too loud.

"I didn't mean to say yes. I'm not ready to get married. I don't wanna get married." I replied, continuing to water my plants in my backyard, "How did you even find me?"

"Courtney,"

"I knew she would tell you," I said as I put down the watering can and walk back inside, leaving Shayne standing on my yard, "Hey mom, I'd be on my room upstairs if you need me."

"Sure, sweetheart," she said, still busy dicing carrots.

"Hi, Mrs. Hawthorne, I'll just be there with Y/N, if you don't mind. We'll just talk, I promise," I hear Shayne talking to my mom.

"I think she needs to be alone, Shayne. But please stay for dinner," my mom replied, and then I finally shut the door behind me.

I love Damien. I love everything about him. We've been together for almost 7 years, but somehow, I suddenly felt like I'm tired of him. I'm tired of our daily routine, and I forgot who I am before I dated him. I'm just focusing on myself right now.

Why did I say yes to him in the first place? And now, I'm a runaway bride-to-be. I know how I feel, but Shayne, neither Damien, knows about it, and I actually feel bad for leaving him without explaning why. I took a deep breath and picked up the engagement ring that sits on my bedside table.

I opened my door and found Shayne sitting on the staircase.

"Hey," I said as I walk down and sit down next to him, "I gave him everything. Did everything I could do to keep it going. Maybe I got too tired of it, you know? I don't know, Shayne. 7 years. I enjoyed that 7 years with him. I loved him. I loved your best friend. I loved him with all my heart, and I don't know if he knows that."

"Y/N,"

"No, Shayne, let me finish. When you leave this place, please go to Damien and give him back this ring," I said while I hand him the ring, tears stream down my face, "And please do tell him that he deserves someone better than me. He deserves the world, Shayne, you and I both know that."

Shayne wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I just cried with my head leaning on him.

"I loved him, Shayne, but I don't know why I kept saying it in past tense. Why can't I love him now? Why can't I love him forever?"

Shayne just sat there, staring at nowhere. With my glassy and blurry vision, I saw my mom standing in front of us.

"The dinner's ready. Just come to the table when you guys are ready to eat," my mom said and she kissed the top of my head.

I forced a smile and then I pulled myself away from Shayne, "Come, let's eat."

As we both walk to the dining room, I saw a familiar man.

Damien.

"I love you. I still do," He said as he walks over to me.

"Damien," I said and I ran to him and hugged him. I could feel his arms wrapping around my torso, and he's crying on my shoulder. I cried as I gripped the fabric of his shirt, "I am so sorry, Damien."

"I understand. I get it," he said, in between his cries, "You don't have anything to be sorry for, Y/N."

We let go from each other and I walked back a little, just enough for me to see his face and his teary eyes.

"I don't know what to say," he said as he force a laugh, "Whoo, I just want to cry and stare at you, you know?"

We both took a deep breath and tried to hold our tears. I rubbed my eyes, and then I rubbed his. "You'll be okay without me, Damien. You will. I love you."

He pulled me into a hug again, a tight one. He kept kissing the top of my head, and I just enjoyed his presence the whole time. If this is the last time that I'll hug him, I better enjoy it.

"Can I hug you much longer?" he whispers into my ears.

I nod and I just kept my head pressed onto his chest. I don't know if I have the strength to let go of him right now. I feel like I'm about to fall apart.

"I can't believe this is happening," I said, "I can't believe I'm not getting into your car tonight, a-and that I'm, not going into our house, and sleep next to you."

"The cats are gonna miss you. I told them that mommy's not coming home so they don't have to keep waiting for you at the door," I could hear Damien catching his breath from all the crying, and that's when I knew that I had to pull away. That I have to let go of him, because if I don't, I'd only make it painfully worse for the both of us.

He kissed me on the lips for one last time, and then he walked to the front door, not saying anything. Shayne followed him and then they walked to his car that is parked near our front yard.

Shayne got into the driver's seat, and then Damien walked to the other side.

"Goodbye. Thank you. I love you." he mouths, and I just waved back. He got inside and Shayne drove away.

I stood there outside my front porch, watching as Shayne's car zoom away. As soon as they moved past our house, I said the same 6 words.

"Goodbye. Thank you. I love you."