Getting Over Losses

Chapter 2

A/N:
Okay before I let you read I wanna let y'all know that I really don't know much of Roy's back story. If you couldn't tell, I watched the original FMA which sadly only gave backstories for Ed and Al. I have watched some of FMAB, but only to season 3 as I never really have time to do anything but sleep and study. Most of what I do know I learned from fan posts I've seen, so not sure how reliable it is. If I mess something up, or if you would just like to fill me in on his back story (please do if you can) you can comment or message me. That's pretty much it guys, here you go.
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And that was all it took to get Roy out of the office and on a train headed away from Central. It really was a relief to be leaving that place and all of the people with their fake sympathy. He knew that where he was headed the news wouldn't have reached yet.

He could remember his conversation with Armstrong clearly.

"Are you going to go back to your home town? It's been a long time sense you've seen your family, and you could visit the graves."

He had answered slowly, choosing his words carefully.

"My family knows I'm alive, I don't think they need to know much more than that and I'm sure they don't care to know more anyway. I don't really think I could handle visiting the graves right now either. It would mean admitting this was all real, that I'll never get them back. And it would mean having to tell my old teacher I failed to keep the last promise I made him. Man he would kill me if he could get the chance. Wouldn't doubt lightning would strike me down right there at his grave."

Roy forced a laugh, but Armstrong ignored his bad joke. He just looked down on the black haired man with obvious sympathy, but at least it was real, pure sympathy and concern, not in the least bit fake.

"So where are you planning to go then?"

Roy thought about this for a minute. He didn't really have much family he cared to see, and all his friends lived in Central. There was one place, but it might be a strech.... Would they even let him in?

"I've got a place in mind."

So now he was headed there, to a place far away from here, a place he had rarely visited, and a place he wasn't sure he was even welcome at.

He looked out the window again and thought again of the final promise he had made his dying teacher. He had made the promise when he was only sixteen, after he had just became a soldier.

"Take care of my daughter."

That had been the last thing his teacher had asked of him. He let out a bitter laugh. "What a fine job I did of fu*king that up." He cussed himself under his breath.

How could he have been such an idiot? Wouldn't it have been better to of kept arguing with her until she had finally listened to reason? Would that have saved their lives that day? Why had he decided to listen to her the one time in their relationship that he had been right?

He had spent fourteen years of his life worrying this day might come. And after she had given him the news- he couldn't believe that had been ten months ago now- he had he had worried about it twice as much, every night hoping, and sometimes even praying to a god he had never believed in that they wouldn't be taken away from him.

What good that had done. After watching everything he held dear in his life taken away from him in one shot, he couldn't help but think that maybe all of the alchemists hadn't been so wrong in their atheist beliefes, or maybe it had just been God's way of having him atone for all of the sins he had committed in his almost three decades of life. Maybe he deserved everything he was getting. No, he definitely deserved everything he was getting, but what had they done to deserve what happened to them? Had just being associated with him been enough? Sure, Riza had killed in her life, but it had all been for him. She had become a soldier for him, risked her life everyday for him, always went to such lengths for him, could her death have just been away for him to atone? If so where was the equivalency Ed preached so much? Had he really done nothing but mess up her life?

Da*n it, he couldn't think about this stuff anymore. He opened his bag. He wasn't proud of it, but he had actually visited the doctor before leaving Central the way Armstrong had suggested. It still amazed him how easy it was to get sleeping pills and antidepressants if you had the right ties. He had been sure to visit the liquor store on his way out too. At this point his suitcase had more glass bottles and plastic containers than it had clothes or essentials. He reached into the bag and pulled out his pocket knife and one of the plastic pill bottles. "This should dull the pain a little, or at least stop my mind from running off dark places I don't feel like visiting right now." That was the last clear thought that entered his mind before he was finally able to put himself to sleep hours later.

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A/N:
Hey guys sorry for the short chapter it's always hard to start a story, I promise it'll get better as y'all get further in. I've been off school for snow so I've had time to write and hopefully with winter break coming up I'll be able to write some then too. I think that's it for now, bye guys!