Connor (RK800) Oneshots

Of Pans And Forgotten Dinners

You're Hank's child, and to lift your spirits when you're tired after an evening of work, Connor decides to cook you dinner. However, you'll end up eating an entirely different kind of meal. Slightly NSFW.

When you woke up from your nap, you didn't expect the delicious smell of bacon to welcome you back into reality. Fighting the drowsiness that still clung to you, you sat up on your bed and yawned. The only other person, or android, in the house was Connor, who had kindly accompanied you home after you had finished your shift at the department. You were so tired that as soon as you were home, you barely had the time to change into your old-fashioned Avengers pajamas before falling to your bed in desperate need for rest.

At first, Connor had stayed by your side, gently caressing your hair as you closed your eyes and slowly fell asleep to his touch. Since you had declared that you'd only take a quick nap to regain some strength before ordering something to eat, he got an idea. Was there a best way to wake up the love of his life rather than him cooking dinner himself?

So that was why, when you entered the kitchen, you found him bent over the stove, flipping bacon in a pan.

But it was how he was dressed that stole all sense of reason.

He had taken off his jacket and tie, which lay neatly folded on a chair nearby, remaining only with his thin, white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Instead of his usual jeans, he had put on a pair of loose black pants that hung tentatively low. Perhaps they had loosened even more due to his frantic movements trying not to burn everything.

You had never seen him dressed like this. This was quite the shock, considering his usual formal attire, but you were not complaining one bit. In fact, you found that your mouth was watering, but not due to the food that your boyfriend was cooking for you.

Then it hit you. My boyfriend. Is cooking dinner for me. In nothing but that shirt and a pair of pants. Ugh.

When he sensed your presence, he turned around, and that was the moment your sanity said goodbye forever. His brown eyes were lit with joy, and that rebellious lock of hair was out of place again.

"You're awake!", he chirped happily. "I tried cooking something for you. Actually, I don't have enough data to do this properly, but-"

"Who...who gave you the right," you interrupted him, absolutely livid, "to stand here in my kitchen looking like...like..."

He looked dumbfounded for a moment, but then he smirked. He smirked.

"A snack?"

Your mouth distorted in indignation, "where did you even learn that expression?"

"You pick up a thing or two, when you have to witness a drunk Hank wooing women in bars".

"I am never going to leave the two of you alone in a pub ever again".

He put the pan down and fucking sat on the counter, his thighs slightly apart as he adjusted himself on that new spot. When he was satisfied, he tilted his head, his eyes two narrow slits and his mouth slightly open in a devilish grin.

You were just now beginning to process how fast the situation was escalating. You tried not to focus on his deliciously exposed forearms, but then he gestured to the dish laying forgotten on the table and his muscles flexed. You could have sobbed.

"So? Are you not going to eat?" He had the nerve to sound almost offended, "I cooked just for you".

That was it. You stomped over to where he was, making sure to look as menacing as your pajamas made possible, but you were still to tired and so you stumbled over a chair in the process. So much for looking threatening. He remained perfectly still and he very much reminded you of the marble statues of ancient Greece.

"Do you know", you hissed, because you were hungry and tired and you just wanted to sleep but he was making it utterly impossible, "that it is illegal to tempt young women like that? Hm?" By now, you were facing him, but due to him sitting on the counter you came face to face with his insanely see-through shirt, opened enough to let you peek at his pectorals, but not enough to admire their full beauty. You slowly tilted your head up.

And he was still smirking.

"I just want you to eat your dinner", he shrugged, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and he just an innocent angel who hand't the slightest idea of what he was doing to you.

Oh, he was in so much trouble.

You climbed on the counter on top of him, knocking a poor pan or two in the process, which clattered to the floor. Sumo barked weakly.

"Do you intend to destroy your house?"

Evidently, the murderous look you gave him was not enough to warn the little shit that if he didn't stop now-

"Hank had just bought that pan, you kn-" you slammed your lips against his so hard that he had to hold onto the counter for dear life to balance himself and you on the precarious surface to keep you from falling and destroying anything else.

He had angered you. You were exhausted. All you wanted was to have a quiet evening sprawled on your bed, with a stomach full of takeout pizza and loud music blasting directly into your brain. And he had ruined it all,

awakening a fire in your belly that pushed your entire being to wanting to perform activities which were, in all honesty, quite the opposite.

That kiss was all teeth and biting and pulling until you were too out of breath to continue. There was no time to savor every bite slowly, but only to devour him like he was the most delicious dish in the world. And he let you. When you licked his tongue luxuriously, he rewarded you with a sound too similar to a moan to be considered innocent. Surely the deviancy had changed the boy. But oh, you were not complaining.

You sucked his bottom lip voraciously before pulling away, releasing his lips with a loud pop.

"Should we-", when did you get so out of breath? "Should we continue somewhere else?" You managed in between breathy whispers.

This time, it was him who attacked your neck, his LED flashing yellow.

"Connor-" He was sucking mercilessly at the tender skin in that spot that made you go crazy. If he didn't stop, you knew a hickey would sprout and if your father saw that then- but it felt so good, you just couldn't bring yourself to stop him.

"Hm?" He purred against your skin.

"If my dad arrives..." you found that the android stole even your ability to form a coherent thought. You would have let him devour you right on that counter, but Hank could have returned at any moment now.

"Oh." He finally let go, looking like a puppy that had just disappointed his owner. "What about the couch?"

"Not in front of Sumo, Connor!", you turned around to see the sweet dog sleeping in his usual spot. "I have a room, you know!"

You climbed off of him and straightened your shirt, then you took your boyfriend's hand and literally yanked him along with you to your room. As soon as the door was closed, you pushed him on your bed and straddled him. He let you do as you wished, but the mischievous light in his brown doe eyes told you that maybe you were going to pay for your bossy attitude. You could only hope. The last thing you saw before diving into his mouth was the flickering red light of his LED.

—

When Hank opened the door to his house, he knew he shouldn't have left in the first place.

"What the fuck happened here?"

A quick look around the kitchen and he instantly understood. There were kitchen tools scattered everywhere on the counter, along with a pan filled with burned bacon and another dish on the table, still untouched. Those two!

"Honestly? Can't you two at least not fuck in front of my dog?!"

Hank plopped down on his couch with a sigh, a bottle of beer already in hand.

"Come, Sumo," the dog cuddled on the couch next to his owner, placing his head on Hank's knees. "Good dog. Bite off his plastic dick if they do this to you again." He took a swig of his beer and patted the dog, trying not to think about what his baby and that android were doing.