Playing With Fire - COMPLETED

C15 - No one expects an angel to set the world on fire (good thing I'm no angel)

           

Chapter fifteen - No one expects an angel to set the world on fire (good thing I'm no angel)

"hi." The word left my month in the most minute way. It was awkward, and I couldn't do anything about it. Noah and I were assigned to do a presentation together. "I'm not going to bother you. I'll do the work, it's the least I can do."

"and take my education away from me too, what else do you want from me?"

"I just- I just-"

"you just what? Leave me alone." He picked up his books and sat with toby and Claire. The melancholy look never left his face, even when he laughed. He kept a sad smile imprinted on his face and knowing that I was the reason broke me more and more.

"Mr. Perkins, why aren't you in your assigned seat next to Alexis."  Mrs. Rothman spat out my name like a venom. "why is it always that when there are problems in my class, you are the root of them, Miss Cooper?"

Grudgingly Noah picked up his books and carried them back to the seat next to me, he raised his hand to be excused. The following minutes I threw the idea of checking on him up and down. I decided that it would only make it worse. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a burgundy notebook under his psychology textbook and on top of his laptop. I subtly slipped my hand under the textbook and reached for the notebook. Somehow, I thought this was a better idea. As my eyes fell on the page it was clear. He was bleeding. He bled and bled, onto each page. You see writers don't cry, they bled on paper and that's exactly what Noah had done.

17.08.17– how could she lie? How did she keep everything hidden? How could she look at me the same? I'm sure she didn't, just like how I will never see her in the same light. I remember when I found out that Lacey was Alessia. The girl who held me when we were eight, swinging on the playground.

And in red penr, obviously a new addition he had written: But that same girl was Alexis.  The girl who raped me.

11.05.18 - "I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise" – she said, she lied

13.05.18 – what happened to the little girl who cried in my arms screaming that she feared she would end up like her parents? That the love she would find would turn her crazy; just like it did to them.

23.06.18 - How could she betray my trust like that? She knew how terrified I felt when I found out what would've happened to Annabelle when that man took her in the van. Yet she did unimaginable things that Annabelle would have experienced. Who cried out, the same as I did. Who had to hear, "c'mon I know you'll like it' and 'why are you crying, you get yourself worked up for nothing' whispered in her ears like a sweet lullaby that sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I trusted her, look where that got me.

I slammed the journal shut. It dug up old memories. We were so close at the young age, I guess that's why when we got to being teenagers and he came in to my life again it got difficult to become as close as we were before. I held a new identity, one that would destroy everything if I went back to the person I left behind. I had to bury Alessia, she knew too much. Lacey was allowed to know more, she was at that stage of maturing; learning scary things about the big bad world. But Alexis would let those things obliviate her. I remembered that day sat on the swings, whispering to him as I held him close, "Shh you're safe. I won't let you go"

FLASHBACK

21.7.10 – eight-year-old Alessia

Mum was having a good day. At this time, she was the epitome of the perfect mum except when she had her 'bad days' but we don't ever talk about them. She had taken me to a park and I found Noah there playing on the swings. He looked so lonely and Ebony; his mother was to the side sitting on a park bench yapping away on her phone. I'm guessing she wasn't paying attention to the tears that threatened to drip down her young child's face.

"hi."

"hi."

We sat in silence, slightly swinging back and forward. I heard sniffling from beside me. "I don't want you to leave me."

I gave him a perplexed look.

"I heard mum and dad say it's something that happens a lot with young children; especially girls." Noah sobbed.  "I don't want to lose you. Mum said uncle Keith has his squad busting to get any evidence. I just want my sister back." Sat on children swings the young girl first sees the young boy shed a tear.

'Boys don't cry', her dad screamed when Reece burst into tears when he was hit with a leather belt. The young girl turned to the boy and says, "I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise"

END OF FLASHBACK

I recalled the tender memory at the wrong time. It made me hurt more and more. It made me seem as a victim, the tears on my face were a huge stop sign saying, 'pay attention to me, I'm hurting. It's all about me.' but that wasn't the case. I failed with my friend duties. I was eternally grateful for the bell to ring. I rushed straight to the bathroom and threw up in the nearest cubicle.

"Alexis?" It was a teacher. Ms. O'Brien, mostly known as the young caring motherly teacher. She brought me in my state to the office who sent me home.

Noah Perkins - "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified"

I squinted at my phone. There was no way this was Noah. It had to be a joke.

Noah Perkins – I don't want to talk to you ever again. You caused me so much pain.

Noah Perkins – you broke me yet I will love you with all of my broken pieces and that's what scares me the most

These went just sent to me, they were sent everywhere...