Now That I Found You- Austin Mahone Fanfiction

Chapter Thirteen

~ Sorry I didn't upload yesterday, sue me. But my wattpad has been acting up and i have no idea why. lol enjoy! :) ~

Kendall's POV

He left me there. Just sitting at a table at Chipotle. I tried calling him but he never picked up. I felt the tears coming on so I tried to think of something else. I have my license. That's a good thing. I thought of how I could drive now. All by myself. Then I thought that I could drive myself home right now, since Austin left me here. Alone. I shook that away. I started thinking about driving again. How I feel so relaxed when I'm behind the wheel. Then I thought of my Dad. He always told me if I was stressed or mad when I was old enough, walk out of the house, take a drive and just think. I could use that right about now. Then once your done, turn around and come home. Was he stressed or mad about something when he and Sam got into the accident? No, he was picking Sam up from Soccer. I thought of all the good memories with Dad. How when I was 5, he would read stories to me even though they were about princesses. Or how the year he died, he took me to California, the place that I always wanted to go just because I wouldn't shut up about it. I remember the day so well. I got mad at Sam for stealing my hat to wear for indoor baseball, a game that he always played. I pushed Sam and Dad got mad at me, then he grounded me. I got really mad and slammed my door. Dad was always on my side for arguments and this time he wasn't. He knocked on my door, telling me that he was leaving to take Sam and asking me if he wanted to go to the store after he picked him up. I mumbled a no and Dad left. I could have died that day. If I would have said yes, none of this would have happened. I would have never moved to Texas and met Austin. I would have never gotten hate and I wouldn't be sitting alone at Chipotle right now. I want it to be like that so bad.  Why am I thinking like that? I need to leave. I got up and started walking home. I tried to call Austin again, no answer. He really loves me. This is all his fault. If he would have never tagged me in that stupid picture, that fight would have never happened. Then I started crying. I sat down on a park bench and just let it go. I calmed down and just sat there. My life is a mess. I have a thousand girls hating on me because I'm dating their idol. Maybe it should be there way. That's a great idea. I can't take it anymore so have it their way. I started sprinting home and I unlocked the front door. I ran upstairs and threw my purse on my bean bag chair. I unlocked my phone and called Austin for the last time.I once again got his answering machine.

"Austin. I'm calling you because I would love to tell you something." You could hear the sarcasm in my voice.

"I'm breaking up with you. Just what YOU wanted and what your fans wanted. You made that decision yourself when you left me alone today. Goodbye."

I hung up the phone and laid down. I turned off my phone so no one could contact me. I started tearing up again. I hate my life. I fucking hate it. I have no friends, no boyfriend, and no Dad. I've been acting moody to my mom and Adam, and they always want to ground me because of my attitude. Everyone that supports Austin, hates my guts and wants me to kill myself. I want to kill myself because my life is shit. I can never do anything right. It just needs to end. Now.

I walked into my bathroom and opened my cabinet up. I saw some razors. Perfect. I opened up the package, took one out and walked into my room. I went back into my room and opened up my medicine cabinet. Depression pills, the ones I took after my Dad and Brother's death. Just what I want. I walk back into the room and set it down next to the razor on my dresser. I find a couple pieces of paper and a pen to write on.

I write a letter to Alex, telling him he's a great friend and that it seemed that the world turned on me, and this felt like the right thing to do. I also wrote that it wasn't his fault and that it was my choice. I told him to take care of Lily during this time. And that I love him. I folded it up and wrote his name on the top.

I finished one for Lily, Adam and Mom, then I got to Austin.

Austin: I'm terribly sorry. It got too far and I felt like nothing was going my way. We always fought and when you left me there, I just thought it was the last straw. I thought too much and I came to the conclusion that this was the right idea. Your fans got what they wanted. A single Austin. I will always love you no matter what and this isn't your fault. It's what I wanted. I hope you understand. You were my 11:11 wish, Austin Carter Mahone. I love you to the moon and back.

Kendall.

I capped the pen, folded it and laid it next to the others. The next thing I did was turn on my IPod to some music. I scrolled through and found Paradise by Coldplay. I saw tears hit my IPod, not knowing I was crying. It's time... I picked up the razor.

When she was just a little girl, she expected the world.

I cut on my right wrist.

But it flew away from her reach, so she ran away in her sleep. She dreamed of Para- Para- Paradise.
PoP

I cut on my left.

I felt so relieved. I uncapped the bottle and shook out a handful of pills.

Para-Para-Paradise

Two pills.

This could be Para- Para- Paradise.

Four pills.

I felt sleepy but so relaxed. One more pair, I thought.

Paradise.

Last two. I swallowed them. Looked at the sky, smiled. That's my paradise.

~ Omg, I'm so sorry about this chapter. i feel horrible. I almost started bawling. But Suicide is never the answer. If you need to talk to someone, Message me. I'll help you out. Please. You don't deserve you're life to be taken. Like, comment, and Vote for wednesday :) ~