When I Said, "Someone Fuck Me," I Didn't Mean Life

Chapter 04 | When

"As-salamu alaykum." Ryou nodded. His Arabic was improving - his accent even sounded natural.

"I can speak Japanese just fine." He didn't mean to sound sharp. Yes, he did. He wanted to- wanted to- Fuck, his thoughts were just cutting off there. He didn't even know what he wanted to do. He just didn't want to be there. "How have you been?"

"Alright." Ryou had grown too. He had started testosterone, Malik could see, and cut his hair a little. His bangs were more pronounced, styled rather than just hanging limp around dark chocolate eyes. "And you?"

"I've been..." Malik trailed off. "Busy." It was one way to put it anyway. He had been. "I was working with my sister at the museum in Cairo."

"That sounds good." Ryou chewed his lip. He had that habit from Battle City. Malik remembered it annoying the hell out of him whenever Ryou had control - which happened far more often than he would have liked. "Why are you back?"

Malik hesitated. Get out. He could still get out. He could hurt him- no, he didn't want to hurt Ryou. That would cause a scene. "I don't know," he admitted. "Rishid said I needed to deal with things, and this seemed like the best place to come to terms with them." He didn't know why he said it. He hadn't seen Ryou in years. But he was easy to talk to.

"I see." Ryou nodded and fell silent.

Malik dug his toe into the sole of his shoe. He hated the silence, only filled by the odd chatter of other shoppers and the unsettling music. "Do you want to go for coffee?" He asked. "I need to finish shopping, and I assume you do too, but after that..." He trailed off again and shrugged. He had to focus on staying present, but he figured he owed Ryou at least a talk over some coffee.

Ryou raised an eyebrow, and it disappeared under his fringe. "No offence, but I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet."

Malik swallowed. Apologise. "I understand, honey." No, don't, he didn't do anything wrong. Except call him honey- that was too endearing- he shouldn't have said anything. Apologise- no, he was better than that. He tried to meet Ryou's gaze. "I'm not going to apologise." He didn't want to insult Ryou like that. "I don't think you'd want me to."

"It would seem a little empty," Ryou admitted, "after you got Bakura to stab me in the arm."

Malik winced. "That's fair." He couldn't blame him, but the back of his mind was just tugging at him, pulling him towards dissociating again. It would be easy to stab him- no. Fuck. "But I do wish someone had just decked me before it happened. Maybe you."

Ryou hummed. "That would have been nice." He looked amused, but Malik couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Ryou peered up at him. "So you regret it?"

Malik sighed. "Yeah. Very much so."

Ryou nodded. "That helps a little." He gave Malik a small grin. "Although if we meet up, I'd still be a little hesitant to go anywhere that has knives."

That was definitely a joke. Malik managed to crack a smile. "I saw Yugi and Atem a few days ago."

"Yugi rang soon after you left," Ryou admitted. "If he hadn't, I don't think I would have talked to you if I saw you." He grinned. "Anxiety makes it hard to deal with people when you're not expecting it."

Ryou had anxiety? Well it would make sense. "Yeah..." Malik flicked his tongue out over his lower lip. "They mentioned Bakura was back." Ryou's smile was already fading back to his initial wary expression. He fucked up, he fucked up, he had to get out. "Is there any way I could-?"

"I don't know." Ryou shook his head. He moved the basket in his left hand to his right. Maybe he was left-handed and wanted to hit Malik- he couldn't remember- no, no Ryou wouldn't- "Bakura's... not in a good place at the moment. I'd need to ask him if he's okay with seeing you."