university | lrh

17 - don't leave me

"Why don't you two just date already?" Cassie mumbles, her voice slightly muffled since she hadn't bothered to move her face from Michael's chest.

"Why don't you two just admit you're dating, already?" Calum quips back, earning a simultaneously lazy middle finger from the colored hair duo.

"Can't two people just cuddle without being fucking questioned?" Michael grumbles, leaning up the slightest bit to glare at the other boys.

"No, because I'm lonely and don't appreciate the PDA happening right now." Calum crosses his arms across his chest and I see Michael roll his eyes.

Ashton agrees, and the pair go on to list every reason why the other two absolutely cannot cuddle together in front of them, unless, of course, they can all cuddle together.

It almost made me take my mind off of Luke. Key word; almost, because I hear the familiar soft vibrations of my phone against the blanket I'm seated on, and suddenly he's the only thing on my mind again.

It's hard. It's really, really hard to keep from picking up, but I don't, even though my hands are itching to press the phone to my ear and hear his voice. I won't do it, I can't do it.

I can't do it, because I'm a coward, and I'm too scared to face the inevitable rejection.

Because Luke has Sidney. And I'm not his type.

I haven't even been back to my dorm in these past few days. I was too scared he might show up to my door, and I couldn't handle looking him in the eye while he tells me what we did was all a mistake. So, I settled for Calum and Ashton's dorm, and sent Cassie back to our room to pick up the various items we might need.

I stare mindlessly at the device in front of me, wincing at the familiar name that lights up the screen, and contemplate every decision I've made in the past 3 months of my life.

How did we end up here?

"Lisi..." A cautious voice breaks me from my contemplation, and I look up to see Calum watching me with concerned eyes. "Why don't you just talk to the guy?" He says it carefully, grimacing as he does. "Maybe it's not what you think,"

"Maybe not, but what if it is?" I say quietly, finally letting my fears slip to him. "How am I supposed to look at him again?"

He sighs, and I'm well aware that the other three in the room are watching our exchange. "You'll never know if you don't give him a chance to explain." He rationalizes.

"He's probably losing his mind over this, Lisi," Cassie pipes up, raising her head from its position on Michael. "Don't let Lusi die on me, not like this." She pouts and I let out a sad laugh.

"Let me talk to him," Ashton smiles. "I can knock some sense into him."

Michael snorts. "Yeah, okay, Mr. Can't-go-five-seconds-without-giggling. Sure you can."

"I have the manliest giggle on this planet and you know it. Maybe even in outer space-"

"Guys," I interrupt. "It's not even like that. He didn't even do anything wrong, really." I fiddle with my fingers anxiously. "I just shouldn't have let myself start to like him." I sigh.

What did Luke say before about you not understanding? 'Fucking dim', was it?

Heat of the moment. I think. He didn't mean it.

"You don't seriously think the guy doesn't like you, right?" Michael asks, bewildered. "Because that's fucking bullshit, and you're smarter than that, Lisi."