I Think That I Love You

Funnel Cake

Ivan wasn't too sure what he had gotten himself into. Alfred had exhorted him into spending his free day with him yet again, but this time he wanted to do something different. Alfred wanted to go to a fair, a fair! That was one of the stupidest things Ivan had ever heard of, second to deep-fried butter. Why does that even exist? Do Americans just like the taste of pure fat? Ivan would never understand these foolish creatures.

"Come on, bro, we've got to get in line for the roller coaster! Oh, and I just bought some funnel cake for you. You're gonna love it!" Alfred rambled to Ivan as he returned from the food trucks with his arms laden with greasy fair food. Ivan's stomach turned as he looked at the puddles of syrup and grease coalescing on the wax paper. Oh what wouldn't he give for his precious flask that security had taken away!

"Dude, I know you're taciturn but you've barely said anything since we've gotten here, are you okay?" Alfred asked through a mouthful of corndog, already digging into his mounds of food.

"Da, but do these foods have to be so... oily?" Ivan asked dubiously. Were these people trying to give themselves diabetes? Oh, back in Russia nobody's flask was taken away. Back in Russia, they had blini and borscht, not these lumps of fried fat.

Alfred just laughed, "Dude, I forgot you hated fun. Just try it! C'mon it's amazing!" the words were muffled by the chili dog he was now devouring. Ivan wanted to leave the stupid fair so badly, but those eyes. How could he disappoint such a happy innocent creature like that? The hope and joy shining in those Texas sky eyes! Ivan swore that he could see stars in them. So Ivan prayed to God and took the funnel cake from Alfred.

The fried dough was smothered with powder sugar, sprinkles, chocolate sauce and topped was a single cherry that was so red Ivan wondered what chemicals they had injected into it. Ivan gingerly took the plastic fork in his massive gloved hands and lifted a tiny portion of the carb-filled concoction. Ugh, Ivan could see how deep-fried it was. He quickly shoved it into his mouth and immediately spit it out. How could Alfred stand such things? 

It tasted just as bad as Ivan had expected. Oh how he missed his vodka! Back in Russia they never served such horrors like this. He missed those spicy slabs of gingerbread his uncle would bring every time he visited him when he was a little boy! Alfred let out his signature laugh that caused a couple onlookers to stare their way.

"Dude, you should've seen your reaction! That was hilarious, man. We really need to get out more often if that's how you react to funnel cake. All the cold cases we've been doing lately have had an effect on you huh?" Alfred said while popping deep-fried Oreos into his mouth from his apparently never-ending stash of food. Ivan stared back at Alfred with the face of a sullen cat, annoyed that he had experienced that and how Alfred was somewhat right. He had been angry at Captain Héderváry for assigning them a slew of cold cases. But they were the only ones able to do it.

Ivan knew he was being extra churlish lately, but the cases were getting to him. Nearly all of them had resulted in failure, frustrating him to no end. Ivan knew Alfred was frustrated as well. He'd been eating more, despite the fact that the amount of cholesterol and sugar he consumed on a daily basis should be enough to kill a man. Ivan had seen the bags under his eyes and knew that Alfred was trying to ameliorate things. Alfred's gaze lifted up to the Ferris wheel, staring at the apertures between the spokes.

"You know what's weird, dude? We're each other's antithesis. Heck, before Héderváry forced us to be partners we were arch nemesis. We'd go out of our way to one up each other. But for some reason, we work so well together. I guess opposites attract, huh?" Alfred confessed while taking a thoughtful sip from his jumbo-sized Slushy.

"Da, my friend, despite your lacking traits in certain areas, you have your acumen, same with me. Everything that you lack, I have; everything that I lack, you have. What an odd and wonderful coincidence," Ivan replied with a thoughtful look in his violet eyes.

Ivan heard a loud crunch. He only sighed and turned his head to see his partner in the middle of consuming a large caramel apple with what appeared to be a gallon of chocolate, nuts, and candy on it.

"I will have to start controlling as much food you eat, Alfred. It seems every second you're either stuffing your face or saying something stupid," Ivan complained, swiping the last of Alfred's food from him with ease.

"Hey! Well at least I'm not that vine where the lady says two shots of vodka and pours around half of the bottle!" Alfred retorted, trying to snatch back the food from Ivan who was holding it above Alfred's head with ease. The two friends laughed as they fell back into their routine of bickering with ease. 

I'm bad at this romance stuff, but I'll try to give you some worthwhile content that butters your eggroll